General Chat

don't worry Scozz...........it'll soon "pass"

;-)

I have only ever had one night in hospital as an adult and that was only because I was a wuss about having my wisdom teeth out, as if my medical history was of any interest to anybody!

Anyway, during my short sojourn in hospital I found I could not use a bed pan. I suppose if I had been kept there long enough I would have let go but the idea of peeing in bed closed all the valves.

I hope they don't want 3 litres from me

:-(

a man's bladder can hold about 500 ml, a woman's about 750 ml


and an adult produces about 1 - 1.5 l a day



depending, of course, on how much you drink :-)

in response to Bob's cling film and hypodermic ...................


the last time I had to do the poo test for colon cancer, the test had changed ...............

and so had the instructions for collecting the sample

cling film over the bowl held in place by the lid

no water on cling, and certainly no urine contamination

get up and take sample from what had collected on the film



it was perfectly obvious that whoever had written those instructions had no idea either of toilet lid / bowl connectivity, nor of human physiology .............

cling film is only slightly wider than the toilet bowl

the lid on most toilets over here would not firmly hold the cling film in place once any weight was placed on it ........ there's only 4 points of contact


and


most humans p at least a little bit at some point just before, during or just after a bm


:-D :-D :-D

Bottle swap this morning.

Gave them the 3 litre bottle with a piddly amount in it.

They gave me a 4 litre bottle, with a bit of acid in it....... and strict instructions, not to drink spill, or use it in any way.

Do they really have to tell people this? Are some people so stupid??

:-(

yes! :-D :-D

I am having hysterics here. Ooops, must dash down the passage before I wet myself. :-D

Not easy to dash with my legs crossed. :-0

Oh we do learn a lot on here!
If we get a personal problem...post on the chat page....good job we can have a laugh at ourselves.... :-D :-D :-D

But it is not just about peeing in bottles is it.

People need to tell you how to do the simplest thing.

How many times have you been instructed to drive carefully? Don't you always?

I was going in the scrapyard one day and a man with a tooth stopped to tell me some fundamental instruction about some part I was after.

The guy who owned the yard knew that I knew considerably more than the bloke did and that the bloke had just been well charged for a tail pipe and nobody buys them from a scrapyard!

I also was prescribed ear drops many years ago and the instructions said to lie on your side with the ear into which you were going to out the drops uppermost.

Well it was a good thing they thought to write that!

Scozz

Sell it on eBay and sing "Urine the money" ;-)

Now LS,

Do they re-cycle the container you took back!......think what your next plastic jug could be made from, ;-) :-D :-D :-D :-D

be interesting to see what the customs people use to collect "IT" from people they suspect of swallowing drug filled condoms....

I suspect a Colander of some kind

Various 'Border Control' TV progs have illustrated this. They keep the suspected drug mules isolated but with access to a purpose built loo. The bodily waste solids are diverted into a seperate pipe. The condoms are easy to spot.

Don't fancy that job :-( :-D

rofl

We all pee and we all poo, but........ as my Mother used to say......... some things are not spoken about in polite society.

awwwww pooooo!

Impolite society is much more fun.

I can almost feel Mother creeping up behind me..... OWWW!




:-(

Next time I buy a plastic jug I'll sniff it first.

2nd bottle delivered this morning

I got home, then had a tomato sandwich, a banana & a handful of almonds.

:-D

I forgot to say I wasn't allowed alcohol..... but I'm having a few tomorrow night.

Doc's office 'phoned this afternoon, said he wanted to see me :-( I told them I only took the last of the "sample" in this morning, and the result wouldn't be back by tomorrow, so I have an appointment on Tuesday.

I had to collect wee for 3 days a few years ago. I had a bit of a conundrum - I work in an open plan office, do I take said container to work? I put the question to my boss. We decided half day's leave, half a day's 'sick'. I started on a Friday, and took the container to the hospital on the Monday.

I don't drive, so was on the bus, lugging a very heavy, very badly disguised container of wee, pretending it was shopping, and hoping it didn't leak :-S