General Chat

'I'm afraid not'. or 'I'm a frayed knot'.

My late and lovely friend Audrey used to mangle the language a bit but I can only remember one instance and that was that her friend always gave her a bottle of Tia Marie for Christmas.

I can, however, remember a couple of the words that her uncle would cut up and rearrange . His neighbour, the one who rode a little motor peg came along to the barleycue they had last week-end.

He lived near Guildford and, as you left the A3, there was a big, hand painted sign displayed. It was informing the public that Jack Russell puppy's was for sale.

Well, I hope it was one he didn't want any more and that he was getting a nice new one.

That café that Fred used to use had, in a previous life, had a sign in the ladies toilet asking ladies not to put sanitary ware down the toilet.

I had never tried to do this as it would take far too much effort to smash up porcelain small enough to get it down there and I had better things to do with my time.

:-D :-D

Very slightly off topic, and yes it is an old one, but still good

Ode the spell-checker

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Ken wit ah wis oot the other dae wi ma pals an wun said this is pure ded brilliant init.

China is experiencing a writing problem too.

The rapid rise of computers & smartphones has left hordes of youngsters barely able to write by hand. And many are unable to recall the estimated 10K characters used in daily life without resorting to electronic prompts.

do you remember Wolfie?

Power to the people!!!

and his mum(I think, or was it gran?) and her Michaelwave

I still haven't forgiven Waterstone's decision to become Waterstones.

The apostrophe is an endangered species and should be cherished.

The failure of some schools in recent times to give pupils a good grounding in grammar & punctuation leads to mistakes often being made unwittingly.

The 'apostrophe' has become unfashionable in some areas. A District Council in mid-Devon wants to ban them entirely from street signs to reduce potential confusion.

I'm totally confused about their decision.

I couldn't agree more, Denis. I don't live in the home counties, though.

There would be little point in having grammar at all or examinations in English Language if people could just do what they liked with it.

NOW I IS CONFUSED

‘Let us maintain the dignity of our language far above the base & dishonest buffooneries of mob eloquence’.

Guinevere, dictionaries are servants, not masters. They reflect usage. If the way we use our language changes then so eventually must the dictionary. The home counties are not the yard stick for the rest of us.

Remember, in our fair language, Ghoti spells fish :-D

'gh' from enough
'o' from women
'ti' ftom nation

We English squabble often about our language; please do note: it's 'We English'.

so were dus this leve me

and i dident use spell check :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Dermot - I always try to "talk tidy" in English or Welsh :-D

I have not heard the John Edwards Wenglish tape.

Tec :-)

Tecwyn - nothing better than listening to the Welsh 'talking tidy'.

I must dig out John Edwards' tape of Wenglish. Very funny!

Around here, it's 'Gorn' :-D


,,,,and I say 'scon'

otherwise wouldn't it be sc one (as in the number)

We don't have these problems with the Welsh language :-D

Glad that you enjoyed you scone Rose :-)

Now I must be goan to make dinner :-D