General Chat

Walking into a hospital recently I looked round to see if anyone else want to walk through the doorway, there was a young girl 15 ish pushing an elderly person in a wheelchair, I waited a few seconds so they could get past me easily, they both thanked me and on our ways we went, so quite a while later we meet up again and the young girl gave me a bar of chocolate as a thank you for earlier,it seems most don't have time to wait for someone in a wheelchair and just let the door go. Grr.

Rollo I didn't say I find all Chavs okay - likewise those who presume they're of a better 'class' than me. I just don't judge a 'type' by the Daily Mail!

ZZzzz That's quite sad.

I'm with you Karen and Suemaid about little ones treating cafes and restaurants as playgrounds to race around in. Little fingers rifling through the knives and forks and dropping them on the floor then putting them back in the trays. I've seen them sneezing all over the food in 'help yourself' counters too, picking cream etc off cakes, while their mothers are oblivious. Standing on the chairs and sitting on tables where people eat. Why do parents have to talk at the tops of their voices as well.....no wonder their children shout.

Why do people congregate in supermarket entrances to natter to their friends?
Why do people drive into carparks, then stop dead and cause a jam while they consider all the parking spaces?
Why do women stand in gangways with a big bag on their shoulder poking behind them blocking the gangway?
Why (particularly men) do they swing a leg up behind them when they bend to pick something off a shelf and nearly trip you up?
Why do people say 'excuse me' like an order for you to move out of their way and without a 'please' anymore or a 'thank you' when you do move?

I think what it boils down to is a heightened self importance and/or a complete lack of awareness or consideration of anyone else or their needs. The preoccupation with smartphones and living life through the web can only mean it will get worse as a lot of young folk seem as if their brains are plugged into their phones and are on constant standby, checking for messages or responding rather than notice what's happening around them.

I was expected to have good manners as a child and once these things become a habit they stay with you through life.

I was on a train a few years ago and there was a woman holding a small child, looked like it might have been her grandchild. She was having to stand because there were no available seats.

Two lads, about twelve to fourteen I would say, were sitting on seats;

They were perfectly well behaved and polite boys but I honestly don't think they had ever experienced the concept of offering their seats because I think they would have done so had they known.

Children don't have the capacity to think of everything, they need to be shown.

Those children behaving badly in pubs and public places don't know what they are expected to do. They need to be shown and have things explained to them.

Agree, Sharron.
My children, and therefore grandchildren are taught that there are different behaviours in different situations. Even their (grandchildren's)behaviour with me is different to their behaviour with their mother, and other grandparents (they prefer being with their mum first, me second - not that I'm claiming one- upmanship :-D) Yes I am :-D

I will react to their behaviour in a different way to anyone else - and they should know their/my limits. No bad thing - that's life!!!

On a long train journey recently, I sat at a table for 4 people.
My seat was reserved in advance
A young mum with 2 young children had booked and paid to reserve the other 3 seats.

Some way along the line, a train had failed and all the passengers were transferred onto ours.
all the available seats filled and some people had to stand.

One middle aged woman without a seat, made no bones that the young mother at my table should seat one child on her lap and let HER have his seat.
It's only good manners after all !

The young mother felt that she had no option and sat the child on her knee.

About 20 minutes up the track, the vast majority of extra passengers got off the train leaving loads of empty seats dotted around the carriage

I was inwardly seething, because that woman sat in the child's seat for the next hour and a half , all the way to the final destination.

I really wanted to say something but.... I didn't, neither did the young mum.

Where were this woman's manners?

Question for the ladies........... and I'd like the gentlemen's opinions too

How often have you been waiting for service (shop, bar, whatever), and a male comes up and stands at the counter........... the staff are busy...... then they head in your direction and ask the man what he wants?

Sometimes..... not often..... the man will say that I was there before him.

I used to just seethe, now I say loudly "EXCUSE ME, I was here first"

Women usually (unless they are horrible) point out that someone else should be served first.

I think Sharron has hit the nail on the head. We aren't born having good manners, we are taught - usually by our parents. However, it's a generation thing.....if our parents weren't taught.......then neither are we unless we pick things up as we go along.


I remember reading about Lord Sugar a long time ago. Apparently, it seems as though he was never taught to even say 'please' or 'thank you' - he had to learn the hard way as he went through life.


One of my main bugbears is table manners. I simply cannot stand to watch people shovelling food into their mouths like primitive hunters and then allowing us to view the contents of their mouths as they chew. Arrghh.


I had a quick google and found this advice from Debretts.....

A knife should be held firmly in your right hand, with the handle tucked into your palm, your thumb down one side of the handle and your index finger along the top (but never touching the top of the blade). It should never be eaten off or held like a pencil.


When used with a knife or spoon, the fork should be held in the left hand, in much the same way as the knife, with the prongs facing downwards. On its own, it is held in the right hand, with the prongs facing upwards, resting on the fingers and secured with the thumb and index finger.


A spoon is held in the right hand, resting on the fingers and secured with the thumb and index finger. Food should be eaten off the side of the spoon; it should never be used at a right angle to the mouth.


When eating, bring the fork or spoon to the mouth, rather than lowering the head towards the food. Bring the food promptly to the mouth and do not gesticulate with the knife and fork.


Cutlery should be rested on the plate/bowl between bites, and placed together in the bottom-centre when you are finished.


Never gesture with your cutlery, and don't scrape or clatter it noisily against your plate or bowl.


Equally, it is bad manners to loudly clank your utensils against your teeth.



So now we know :-D

I'm not sure if manners are any better or worse than they always have been. I think people from all generations can be bad mannered.

Around here it's elderly people who shoulder charge their way to the front of bus queues as soon as one appears. They then expect to sit at the front and have a seat for themselves and a seat for their shopping. They don't move even for young mums struggling with babies and pushchairs unless the driver says something.

I hate to see children running around pubs. The type of parent who allows this is the type of parent who would threaten to sue if a waiter dropped hot food on the little darlings.

My son now 32 was driving through a town, stuck in traffic and saw a woman carrying 3 bags of shopping one of the bags broke and she was struggling with it all, he got out and offered her a lift, it took a few seconds because she was unsure of trusting him anyway gave in, he put her bags in the car, took her home and put her shopping in her hallway, she said thank you and that he is a kind young man.
He continued with his journey, and was only about 15 minutes late for work.

I live in a coastal retirement area and don't experience bad manners a lot.

There are times ,especially during the holiday season,when our area gets more families around and I do notice that a lot of parents with young children let their children really scream if they can't get what they want in a store.

If mine had done that....which I don't think they ever did,maybe because we didn't have such big supermarkets,but I would have not let them get their own way.

It is nice here,even yesterday I was in a lift to shopping area and an elderly gentleman held the door for me and let me out first .I experience this often as it was a natural thing to do,as it was always done in the old days with men walking on the outside and raising their hat to you.

I also don't like some of the eating habits........maybe I'm getting a grumpy old woman,but standards have certainly deteriorated and everything seems more "laid back" as they say today! :-S

I have a problem with old ladies in baker's shops.

Several times, when I have been waiting my turn in the queue, old ladies have pushed in front of me.

I feel that it is not possible that they have not noticed my presence as I am clearly visible to the naked eye and take up a good deal of space.

One was so skilled at the task that she made it look like she was a very nice patient lady and would, of course, wait EVEN longer for her turn when I pointed out that I had actually been standing at the counter when she came in.

when I left the shop I noticed that she had left a man outside in a wheelchair. Now, I am the kind of fool who would have let her have my turn had she not pushed straight in simply because she had him there.

Having a disabled person to care for might well entitle you to a few concessions but ignorance doesn't!

Dear All

Hello


I am always very pleased to read your views and receive replies. :-)

Thank you very much. <3


Take gentle care
With best wishes
Elizabeth,
xx

Some very interesting views here.
I admit I am also one of those who says a loud 'thank you' to those who should have thanked me and didn't, ie when I've held a door open for them, or, as happened just the other day, when a chap was charging HIS way through the doorway I was about to walk through, and had I not stood back to let him through, he would have knocked me clean over!! I guess he wasn't a believer in chivalry then!

I agree Annx, I think you have summed up perfectly the reason for today's rudeness and bad manners... heightened self importance coupled with lack of consideration for others.

I enjoyed reading the excerpt from Debrett's ;-)

There are many sorts of 'bad manners'.

Before I shuffle off this planet, (and I'm in no great rush to do that yet!), I feel I have a duty to register my disgust & abhorrence on one topic at least that irks me greatly - that is the amount of swearing heard all around the place nowadays, more often than not involving disaffected youngsters.

It saddens me that so many seem to regard loud swearing as wholly acceptable & almost as some sort of rite of passage simply to look cool in the presence of their peers.

And it is usually the loudest & the noisiest who tend to get everybody's attention. Shouting out many profanities, some of which they would probably not be able to spell, if asked, effectively reinforces that goal.

*Thank you for reading my feeble contribution.

Indeed Dermot, some youngsters in a cafe the other day said that " he is a c..t " I asked if they knew what a c..t was, they didn't so I suggested they look the word up and would see that it is impossible for him to be one.

I am in agreement about today's liberal usage of swear words, loudly and freely, with no thought of who may overhear....it is too much and I wonder why it is tolerated. Not so very long ago it was an offence, in fact my husband was fined for swearing in the street, way back about 40+ years ago.
I tend to think that whilst TV programmes (and films) are not wholly to blame, they do encourage youngsters to think swearing is entirely acceptable and rather cool - Gordon Ramsay's programme for one :-P

Today we went to Worthing because OH had taken on a job that would have been mine had I not been signed off.

About once every year or so we have a burger and we decided that we would make today the day we had one.

There is a chain in Sussex called Uncle Sam's and they do particularly good burgers so we went in there on our way home.

As was giving my order to the young lady behind the counter and just about to ask her for what OH had chosen, waving his burger about, in came Mr Rude. Rather than wait he began to tell the poor girl that he had ordered one without onionlove.

So,half way through taking my order, she was obliged to go to the chef to order another to be cooked without any onionlove for Mr Rude.

Recognizing my own extreme lack of importance in comparison to his I elected not to suggest he might wait his turn. He was, of course, entitled to be dealt with as a priority but I do hope it bloody well choked him!

:-D :-D Sharron