General Chat

Sharron,
If another car driver almost clips your car from the front, he/she will be so close to you that eye contact is inevitable
Sometimes the other driver will mouth/guesture an apology, whilst others clearly mouth/guesture.... other things!

I saw this in an AA magazine about the time I first started driving and it is still true.

The point being made was that there is no accepted sign to indicate that you are apologizing. Thank you is usually a flash or wave but how do you say sorry?

I too think that many motorists have forgotten their driving manners.
I hate to say it, but it's mostly young drivers and women that I have encountered.... on almost a dailly basis

They seem to have a problem making right hand turns.
They invariably cut the corner, because they start the manoeuvre far too early, and almost clip any car wating to exit the junction.

If a man does this, I find that he usually guestures some form of apology.
Anyone else looks at the stationary car driver as if he/she has suddenly appeared from the moon!
They don't seem to realise that THEY are have entered a junction on the wrong side of the road!

It's not just bad driving habits, it's also very bad manners.

I make mistakes when driving but , I always apologise and try to learn from them

Annx summed it up for me. And so many people have shared my views too. Especially about opening/holding doors then saying (or not saying) thank you. I do say it for them but have to be careful as with my hearing problem I have sometimes been corrected by OH when he says 'she did say thank you ' (it is usually a she that I don't hear. And Gwynne's remark about elderly ladies (of who I am one) who sit on the outside of bus seats and save the inside for their shopping. I have been known to ask them to move over and they always have done, grudgingly I might add.

As to the manners maketh man. When I was about 13 we were playing around outside a shop opposite our church before youth club and I bumped into a lady outside the phone box. Before I could apologise she shouted at me 'manners maketh woman as well as man you know'.

Our children were not taken to restaurants very much and there were not many fast food places around in the 60s/70s, we didn't have money for meals out then. Our grandchildren have always been taken to up market restaurants and what Rollo would call pub food. All of them since they were about five. When we have taken them on their own, three in one case, two in the other, we have always been complimented on their behaviour. The youngest is now 12 and the two oldest are married but they are still good mannered boys and girl. Our youngest grandson had his 18th party on Saturday, about 80 boys and girls, he meticulously greeted every one of them at the door mostly with a hug, male and female. The young men all wore suits and ties and the girls prom/party dresses and all were beautifully behaved yet had a great time. (I was surprised to see them dancing to YMCA, Abba and others which we were dancing to in the 80s. (I have to add that phones were much in evidence, however I didn't see/hear much use of them, they just carried them like comforters. :-D

I also have to remark on driving manners and the habit of the young of doing something that could be dangerous such as pulling out in front of you without knowing your speed, (as happened to us yesterday on the A40 out of Oxford) then looking in their mirror and giving you the one finger! there was nobody behind us and we could easily have gone into the back of him.

The motto of Winchester College is: 'Manners Maketh Man'.

Though, to be fair, I was walking to work one morning past the college, there was an elderly gentleman stood on a doorstep in his dressing gown, and a young college lad walking towards me, on his mobile.

'Boy' the man shouted.

'Yes sir, sorry sir' muttered the boy

'You know you're not allowed to use those infernal implements on the pavement - put it away instantly'

The poor boy, trembling, put his phone away, and apologised to me as he passed.

Whilst I agree, some people using mobiles while trying to walk are a pain, I felt so sorry for the boy, and would have hated to have been taught by the pompous man. His bullying attitude breeds bullies, not manners!
:-(

ChrisofWessex, please share with us what the motto is/was.

Yeeesss Chris - shame many of them don't follow it.

My younger daughter worked there when she was about 16, serving them tea.
They (the tea servers) have been called, for a very long time -
'Tea Tarts'!!

She said some were incredibly rude
:-|

Maggie = remember the motto of Winchester College!!

Chris and Karen, you've made me laugh. :-D

I wasn't really aware of it, but when I took my daughter and 3 grandchildren into a café, as we sat down, my daughter and grand daughter, in unison, leant across, (daughter to elder grandson, grand daughter to her younger brother) and took the boys baseball caps off!!

Thinking back, this also happens at the dinner table too!! :-D :-D

Those were the days, Chris.... :-) when a man raised his hat to a female. Wouldn't it be lovely if it was still the norm.

I know I'm being an old fuddy-duddy (the grandchildren & nephews often tell me to 'get with it' ) but it really annoys me when I see young men wearing hats (usually a baseball cap) indoors, especially at table in a restaurant or café.
Yes, I know, it's probably generally considered very old fashioned now, to expect a man to remove his hat when dining, let alone when he enters a house, church, restaurant, whatever, but to me it is simple good manners.
And manners reflect ones upbringing :-)

How sad that a parent would not take a child to a restaurant until aged 14 years.

When I was a young mum my children dined in restaurants (no fast foods then - except the chippie) and never ever let themselves down by either table manners or behaviour.

The same could be said for our g.children now aged mid to late twenty.

They were all expected to behave as they would have at home.

When I first felt grownup - I was about 14 and had to meet my Dad in town - as he came towards me - Daddy raised his hat to me.

It would probably have been a waste of effort.

Sharron, I would not have had the patients you had and would have told him to wait his turn as I am sure he was brought up to do.

IMHO there is no one more important than anyone else.

:-D :-D Sharron

Today we went to Worthing because OH had taken on a job that would have been mine had I not been signed off.

About once every year or so we have a burger and we decided that we would make today the day we had one.

There is a chain in Sussex called Uncle Sam's and they do particularly good burgers so we went in there on our way home.

As was giving my order to the young lady behind the counter and just about to ask her for what OH had chosen, waving his burger about, in came Mr Rude. Rather than wait he began to tell the poor girl that he had ordered one without onionlove.

So,half way through taking my order, she was obliged to go to the chef to order another to be cooked without any onionlove for Mr Rude.

Recognizing my own extreme lack of importance in comparison to his I elected not to suggest he might wait his turn. He was, of course, entitled to be dealt with as a priority but I do hope it bloody well choked him!

I am in agreement about today's liberal usage of swear words, loudly and freely, with no thought of who may overhear....it is too much and I wonder why it is tolerated. Not so very long ago it was an offence, in fact my husband was fined for swearing in the street, way back about 40+ years ago.
I tend to think that whilst TV programmes (and films) are not wholly to blame, they do encourage youngsters to think swearing is entirely acceptable and rather cool - Gordon Ramsay's programme for one :-P

Indeed Dermot, some youngsters in a cafe the other day said that " he is a c..t " I asked if they knew what a c..t was, they didn't so I suggested they look the word up and would see that it is impossible for him to be one.

There are many sorts of 'bad manners'.

Before I shuffle off this planet, (and I'm in no great rush to do that yet!), I feel I have a duty to register my disgust & abhorrence on one topic at least that irks me greatly - that is the amount of swearing heard all around the place nowadays, more often than not involving disaffected youngsters.

It saddens me that so many seem to regard loud swearing as wholly acceptable & almost as some sort of rite of passage simply to look cool in the presence of their peers.

And it is usually the loudest & the noisiest who tend to get everybody's attention. Shouting out many profanities, some of which they would probably not be able to spell, if asked, effectively reinforces that goal.

*Thank you for reading my feeble contribution.

Some very interesting views here.
I admit I am also one of those who says a loud 'thank you' to those who should have thanked me and didn't, ie when I've held a door open for them, or, as happened just the other day, when a chap was charging HIS way through the doorway I was about to walk through, and had I not stood back to let him through, he would have knocked me clean over!! I guess he wasn't a believer in chivalry then!

I agree Annx, I think you have summed up perfectly the reason for today's rudeness and bad manners... heightened self importance coupled with lack of consideration for others.

I enjoyed reading the excerpt from Debrett's ;-)

Dear All

Hello


I am always very pleased to read your views and receive replies. :-)

Thank you very much. <3


Take gentle care
With best wishes
Elizabeth,
xx