General Chat

Sharron, I think you got so used to being in control and thinking of and for others that you feel it's a step backwards if you are now able to let go sometimes. It isn't! Just take each day as it comes, some days will be better than others, and as it's impossible to control other people's actions, words, and deeds, sometimes things will cause upsets, sometimes they will just roll over you. Don't feel you aren't coping, you are, in the way your mind and body dictates.

I would go back to your doctor and talk with him again but confirm that you are anti-anti-ds. It may be that he can contact DSS and explain you are not fit for work at the mo therefore holding them off for a while longer. He can say that he sees your emotional wellbeing is not bring considered and he thinks interviews could push you over the edge and set you back.

When I was really in a bad state with the Council hasselling me to empty my garages, I found Passiflora with Ativa drops really useful, they kept me on a more even keel so I
wasn't so anxious snd weepy. Rescue Remedy also worked for me and I had a roller
thingy to rub on my wrists which calmed me down. I am glad the lavender helps
you. What about getting other oils to have round the house, there are so many that do different things, so you could find something for positivity or to promote calm feelings.etc

Porridge oats are supposed to be good for you for calm feelings hence being in the Passiflora drops, you could add various things like blueberries, jam or savoury things, whatever you fancied , or is in your pantry.
Hope you have success with the cats but take things slowly, maybe you need to be
selfish for a while and just look after yourself before taking on new responsibilties. It can be that the reasons for encouraging new pets is more to give you a reason to stay home, forgive me if that sounds harsh but I know what I am like, I have this need to care for animals or people that sometimes means I shoot myself in the foot, if you understand me.

Best of luck with the coming week, a day at a time and congratulate yourself on any and every little milestone, or baby step

Lizxxx

I have to have the tanker round with it.

What are we like. I will have to try the lavender again. Hope it helps you.

OH finds it hard to swallow when he is stressed. I am more into chucking up at the drop of a hat.

I find it hard to swallow anything at all when I am stressed. Feels like my throat closes up. Got it at the moment. Hope you have grown plenty of Lettuce Sharron and you feel better very soon. x

In the past, the more stress, the more went in my gob but now, everything has to be cut up small and eaten slowly.

I eat slowly anyway but it takes me ages at the moment and I am obsessed with lettuce for God's sake!

Sharron, I hope you dont mind me asking but are you unable to eat properly when you are stressed. Just with you saying about cutting up your chips and taking a long time to eat sounds just like me.xx

Can I make it clear that I did not share a bath in Sharron's 'place' haha ;-) ;-) ;-)

We have three strays we have been feeding and, no doubt, they will be in here soon.

Thought I would give it a week or two before we call in the cat trap.

Sharron, you are brave because so many people would just go to the DR and get medicinal help. That is not necessarily wrong in their case but you are doing it your way and that is brave. You will get there because, regardless of what you may think you obviously know where you are going. This sort of thread is good because you are putting all the negativity down in print where it can be left to drift away down the boards I hope you find that cat to whom to give a home, he or she needs you as much as you need him or her.

Keep taking those baby steps and ewill b her o celebrate with you when you finally see light at the end of the tunnel. <3 <3

Oh,thank you Shirley.

I don't think I deserve admiration, it wasn't voluntary.

Have just been in 'my place', the bath with the lavender., which is where the thinking is done.

I think that cry was there and ready to come out, Fred's mate just let it.

It was a good cry too, not one of the tight, horrible sobs of anger and frustration I remember from my childhood and youth. In fact I was only just thinking how much anger has gone from me now.

As for tranqus. Well, I did them in my teens and don't want to go there again but I am currently obsessed with lettuce. Got to have some every day and I think that is probably because of it's calming properties. It is certainly not because of it's exciting flavour!

At the moment it is very strange not having to put on the brave face, pretend there is nothing wrong in life and take on something else I can't cope with.

OK
Well let rip all you like on here and hope it helps

I do admire you for what you have been through and how you have and are coping

It's is nice though to let go and get some comfort from other folks from time to time

Take care and onwards and upwards <3

This is really sincerely meant x

I think you are doing a dis-service to all mums calling that thing one!

Really, I am happy with the way things are going. I do let go on here sometimes but generally things are looking good. Can you imagine how difficult it is to even adjust to that situation?

Wednesday was a blip but I am looking forward. As I explained it to my doctor, he would be prescribing medicines and therapies to somebody who had been landed with a great deal of unfamiliar stress.

Well, my norm was a huge amount of stress. Now I have taken a lot of steps to rid myself of it. That took a long time too.

I don't want things to happen fast, I need them to be this way for me to adjust gradually to such a profound change. My body too is adjusting slowly.

Most of the lead-up to this was my suffering alone and now I need to have it leave me at the pace my mind and body dictate. I could have done with the help and support fifty years ago.

Please think of this thread as something in the nature of me having a bloody good swear at the situation!

Thank you everybody for reading it and I am sorry it is negative but (not that I have any experience of this) it must be a bit like natural childbirth. I need to experience the change in order to adapt but I do gain a great deal of strength from the support that most of you have given me and I do thank you for it.

Sharron

Tiny steps maybe but sometimes one needs a little medical help to go along side the mind over matter I can do it train of thought

You have been through an awful lots of stress and been the one who organised had little sleep etc etc . Plus as you have said you had stress anyway from mum in the past
Losing your Desmond last week has set you back again and you now have the grief all over again so it's steps back from where you were

Please do consider going back to the doctors and tell them frankly how things are and how you arent really coping and accepting some help

I am not a doctor by no means but we have had trauma in our family and I know it affected our daughter so much she went downhill and is still easily stressed .
It does sound like you have post traumatic stress and if so this can be helped in so many ways by medication on a short term basis

Sending you my very sincere best wishes

;-) ;-)

I am not unhappy, just a bit peculiar, or more so than usual.

Fred's mate and I made peace and I sat in bed leaning on a pillow liberally soaked in the magical lavender oil and felt very much better for it.

My mind is telling me not to attempt the event today, much as I would like to go to it and I am obeying.

Trying to entice two new cats in. They are strays, not ones belonging to neighbours.

Suppose I just can't allow my life to be entirely my own.

You're not wrong Sharron - my war cry my family tell me has always been 'listen to your body' but they tell me I ignore mine.

Perhaps you do need a little bit of help from your dr., just to ease the path. No point in making things harder for yourself. <3

I like to think that my mind has finally found the time and space to sort itself out after sixty years of pressure caused by other people.

My body is certainly benefitting from my finally having control over my own life. look at the blood pressure.

It all needs to be done in tiny steps and this is what my mind is telling me to do.

Oh dear, what a pillock I am going to look if I am wrong!

I guess that maybe your tears were not at Fred's mate Sharron but for your lovely cat. Let yourself grieve for him and gradually you will get there. Shame you can't make yourself go to the function today though. Hopefully you can find somebody to tell you about it.

Can you go back to your doc and tell him how stressful you're still finding things - and the fact that the DWP has caused you to relapse?

Think about it - you're too stressed to go down the road to attend something you know you'd enjoy.
That's serious stress :-(

Ah yes.

My biggest problem is dealing with admin. I just can't do it. OH does all the job searches for me and deals with all that.

It was the organizing and dealing with everything at a date for all those years and then afterwards that actually tipped me over the edge.

I had the pack from iTalk and it gave a ten day deadline. Well that was the end of that. I closed the envelope and couldn't pick it up again.

When I am ready, I will contact them and tell them what the problem is.

Things are improving but it doesn't take much to push me back a long way at the moment.

The cat died last Saturday. That didn't help in any way.