General Chat

my mil was lovely . the day we married she hugged me and said I always wanted another daughter.

hubby was the eldest of 3 .two boys and one girl.

we never fell out although we nearly did once when she took umbrage with our daughter not ringing her before she joined her hubby in Germany in the early 1980,s

hubby had come off night work to drive to Wiltshire to pick up daughter and grandson aged 10months and bring them back to us in Kent for an early drive the next day to Harwich for the ferry.

it was hectic , getting back early evening bathing the lad in the sink and putting him to sleep and us going to bed at 9pm for the early start. it was all go and we didn't even think to ring her .

she took umbrage even though I explained and daughter wasnt on the phone anyway .

when mum and dad had their golden wedding I said to daughter please send flowers from Germany even though she had cut her off and didnt send any cards for the lads birthdays or xmas .

when we went to the family gathering for the anniversary I said how nice all the flowers were and lovely flowers from our daughter and hubby . she sarcastically said I don't know why she bothered . well that's when I nearly fell out with her but held my tongue saying don't be like that mum.

she could be vindictive if you crossed her and got harder as she got older and after having quite a bad illness .

I did get on with her though and with dad and miss them as much as missing my own parents

We are/were lucky LynGiN and I'm thankful .

My Mother in Law is a real sweetheart. She's now 97, and I love her to bits. She's never been judgemental of me, though I am older than her son, and came to our marriage as a divorcee with a child.
She welcomed me and my young daughter with opened arms, and has always been ready with her gentle wisdom.

She is the only parent we have left, and we both cherish her.

Love you, Mum xxxxxxx

My late mother in law was lovely, a real lady - never raised her voice or swore - and very good at maths - impressed me.

My late sis in law was fun to be with but nowhere as quiet as her mum.

I thought I was lucky with both of them but unfortunately lost sis in law last year suddenly and it was a shock to the family.

my OH was one of eight - four boys and four girls - the boys were fine, got on well with all of them and one of the girls was OK, but the other three were down and out bitches - three of them still alive

after my OH died I wrote a letter to two of them telling them just what I thought of them, especially the eldest one who didn't attend the funeral - she's still on the go - 90 years old - she was shocked to get my letter but I'm glad I sent it

Talking about sister-in-laws I got on fine with my second one although I could see she was a bully but when her mother died she thought she could take her mothers place and rule her bothers life, so much so they fell out over something silly and he said to me if anything happens to me I don't want my sister to know, I did let her know after everything was settled but she was not sorry that her brother had died. A very hard woman I must say her brother was the best one.

nice idea - stand up to her - I wish I had all those years ago, but it's too late now

Not sure if this will help .

An ad recently on the Telly here in Australia was for an electrical pest control device which plugs into an electrical socket.

The guy said words to the effect " I put a couple in the mother in laws place a fortnight ago and since then nothing's moved" ;-)

Not sure if this will help .

An add recently on the Telly here in Australia was for an electrical pest control device which plugs into an electrical socket.

The guy said words to the effect " I put a couple in the mother in laws place a fortnight ago and since then nothing's moved" ;-)

My first mother in law was the devil incarnate. I truly hated her and then when he darling son turned I hated him too. My so called mother was the same and always told me she never wanted me , although so called sister could not do a thing wrong, the stars shone out of her A***. I went to Mother's funeral just to make sure she was really dead. I will do the same with sister. Second mother in law was the sweetest kindest lady and I adored her. Unfortunately we lost her a few years back and we still miss her so very much.

Good for your OH standing up to her <3 <3 <3

My MiL was lovely and we never had a cross word,,,,.we used to go for days out just us two.,,,,she would take me with her when buying new things.OH got left out. :-D,when she passed away she had named me equal share in her Will. :-).and she left me her most guarded possession her wedding ring.mind she had no other inlaws as OH is only child.,,,,,,,,,,She has been greatly missed.

Fortunately, I had good relations with both of my mothers in law.

My own mother was the problem to the extent that I eventually saw a psychologist - the only relevant part of those meetings was the following:- she asked me how I would deal with anyone else who treated me in the same way - after some thought I replied that I would have nothing else to do with them. After a few moments without a response from the psychologist I realised that I had the answer to my problem.

Some months later I met my mother again - I now realise something in ME had changed - she was like a different person because she no longer had a hold over me.

The confidence gained from this experience lead me to try it with a somewhat difficult sister in law - it worked!

Once people realised that their opinions, wants, needs etc. simply hold no significance/importance for you they usually stop bullying.

Hope this helps.

My MIL was a bitch right to the end. Wicked I know, but I always said I would dance on her grave and I did.

I get on with both my SIL's and don't intrude into their lives.

The trouble is with the saying 'a daughter's a daughter all your life but a son is a son until he takes a wife;.

Well done to you OH


It was my Butler who finally bodily picked his mother up
and threw her out the front door :-D :-D
She was never allowed over our door step ever again ;-) ;-)

How wonderful our time
without her interference and trouble making
was and is :-D :-D

She even had the cheek to ring the hospital
when my Butlers lovely Aunt was on life support
and demand she was unplugged and taken to the phone
As she wanted to talk to her
she was told by the nurse This just was not going to happen
So she told them that Auntie Betty was faking her illness for attention
As if anybody is on life support for attention

Sad old lady thought the world should resolve around her ;-)

Sad but inevitable.

Good for your OH for finally making a stand. There's the phrase 'I may not like you, but I'll always love you'. Let's hope the confrontation will make her soften her approach.
Probably not - she'll blame you even more. :-(

Well OH lot it with her last night. We move our daughter and grandsons to a house a lot better for grandsons needs. Our other daughter who is due to have a baby and her OH came to help. When we got home had a message from MIL so OH rung her.

She kicked off so OH kicked back She said what would have happen if one of them had died He reply the staff would have phone us and then my wife and daughters will go out to buy a black dress. He then told her he will spend his day of doing what he wont and that he will ring her in about 10 day time as his grandchildren and family came first and then her and his dad. When he got of phone i ask what got into you he just reply i have had it with the old witch, We got a phone call this morning form daughter number 2 MIL had phone her to have a go at her so she jut reply leave my mum and dad to get on with what they wont to do and if she wont to see daughter baby she better grow up. MIL reply to daughter we will not see any of her money when she die Daughter reply that ok we have all we need and that she has her OH, mother,dad sister and her nephews we have each other and that is all we need. OH has just said if phone ring tonight leave it she can talk to her self LOL

My m-i-l turned into a witch after her husband died.

Before that we had a reasonable relationship, although I was glad that we lived in another country :-)

It meant that we would see her on planned 3-week visits, in which they would spend half their time with us in the big city, split between the beginning and the end of their journey, and half their time with their daughter who lived 800+ km away from us. She just had the 2 children, and both ended up here

........ the worst she did before her husband died was to pit son and daughter and the 4 cousins against each other, by continually saying things like "you play the piano very well but your cousin xxxxx is better", or "you drive a car very well, but your sister is a better driver".

We could laugh about that ...... and she did not succeed in driving a wedge between son and daughter or between the cousins. In fact, I think she saw it as spurring one child on to match the other(s). She was in fact incapable of whole-heartedly congratulating anyone ........

....... my OH got an excellent result at university. "You did very well, but your uncle xxxxx did better"!!!!

However, my situation changed dramatically when my f-i-l died, he was a lovely man ............. but it turned out that m-i-l always had to blame someone for whatever had gone wrong, and she was most definitely a half empty glass person.

It had been her husband who had been the scapegoat, and I know he led a bit of a hard life with her because of it.

It became me ........ I was to blame for everything, especially for enticing her daughter to also move over here.

At that time, OH was involved with some international work which meant he would get at least one or two trips a year back to Europe or the UK. He always added on a few days to visit his mother.

On one of those trips, she informed him that I had only married him for her money, and she was going to make darned sure that I didn't get any of it :-0 :-0

If necessary, she would cut me out of her will, and leave his share completely to our daughter.

I was reduced to tears on more than one occasion during regular phone calls and visits here ............. yes, she did indeed continue to visit, spending half the time here and half with her daughter ........... only she came on a 4 week and then a 6 week visit, so we had her for longer.

I was blamed both times for not welcoming her and not wanting her to visit when in fact I had suggested that she be invited to come

I was lucky, extremely lucky, in that OH knew exactly what she was like, and stuck up for me .............

.......... the crunch came when she was insisting on emigrating here, to live with her daughter who was a widow with 3 children under the age of 12, in a place that had 6 months winter, with -30C temperatures common. The summers often had weeks of +30C temperatures, with hordes of mosquitoes, black flies, etc

Daughter also knew exactly what her mother was like, and made all kinds of excuses ................

........... but had to eventually gird her loins and tell her mother that she could not come to live over here as the house was not large enough, and there were no seniors' places in the area ......... folk left for warmer climes as soon as they retired.


guess who was to blame :-|



I do try my hardest to be a good m-i-l ........ but I have to admit that I have serious problems with my own s-i-l. :-(

I do my darndest to be polite and nice to him. He himself has admitted that he is a very difficult person to live with, and our stays have been fraught with tension because he can't stand many people around him. OH also has the same problem as me .............. he's never so quiet and "tucked into the corner out of the way" as when we are there.

We have now solved a large part of the problem by staying in local hotels ....... remembering that our visits are usually for about 10 day duration as they live an 8+ hour plane trip away.

Our daughter has visited here with her little boy the last 2 years ....... s-i-l can't take the long flight and jet lag (4 hour time difference) when it is only for a 1 week visit.

I have no idea what will happen in 2 years time when they plan on coming for a longer visit as it is our 50th anniversary.

I guess we might be paying for a hotel for them, as we have only a small house.

I have a lovely daughter in law - I love her to bits, and her mother is a lovely mother in law to my son, so all is good now

Joy :-0 :-0 :-0 :-D

My mother in law was a nightmare
But she get kicked right into touch
She even had the cheek a few years before she died
to ask if she could come and live with us

She was told she wouldn't last the first day

My Butler said if she come here he was leaving
and she was his mother :-D :-D