General Chat

Just feeling a little low tonight. We've been told that my granny now aged 89 has no more than 48 hours left. There has been a rapid and ongoing decline in her health over the past few months but now the end is near the grief is starting to hit me. I have not seen her for several months by choice as she no longer knows who most of us are. I would rather remember her as the woman who whilst cold and distant at times when no one else was around would hug me and tell me she loved me rather than way she is now. My father understands my reluctance to see his mother like this but my mother is still trying to guilt me into visiting. Though not the last of her generation she is my last grandparent. Whilst inevitable it is strange to think that a generation is almost gone.

I know what you mean,

I was at the hospital today having an echocardiogram, I mentioned my mum
having valves done, in the 70's at the london chest clinic, strange says the surgeon feller, I was there then, I may have known her, had she had rheumatic fever? I don't know I said.............

sad,
the only one left that might have known, the very last sister, died last month aged 89...........

I am very sorry to hear this Tawny.

Thinking of you <3

Thank you both :-)

My daughter stopped seeing my FIL as he went into decline and I understood. My mother never understood why I didn't want to see my father after he died. We all do it differently and should be allowed to do it as we need to.

Don't feel guilty, your mother just doesn't understand. Remember your grandmother how you want to and be there for your mother.

Thinking of you and your family.

Tawny, I fully understand how you feel about wanting to remember your granny as she was.
My children were quite young when my dad died, ultimately of a brain tumour.
Towards the end, he thought I was my mum (they were divorced), and, inevitably, was no longer the sharp witted funny man he had been the year before.
The last time the children saw him, he'd been up the night before, dismantling a broken toilet in the hospice!!
I asked the nurse if he had put it back together - 'No' she replied, through pursed lips.
'No change there then', was my reply, 'He was always 'fixing' things, and giving up halfway through - I hope you've hidden any screwdrivers now'.
We had a laugh, but I realised he was 'losing it'.

Thinking of you and your family Tawny <3

<3Thinking of you as you prepare to lose such a special person in your life. And I totally understand why you haven't visited. you have nothing to feel guilty for.

You do what you think is best It will be Hard losing your Dear Gran .You will have good memories & photos` .She will be in your Heart forever <3 I have an Auntie she is 92 .Haven.t seen her for a while The last time she knew who I was & smiled at me. I gave her a Big Hug .That's My lasting memory of her .Take Care <3 To you & your family Barbra x

So sorry to read this, Tawny.

there's a saying - "To each his own" - don't feel guilty - easy to say but hard to do <3

I am so sorry to hear your sad news

(((hug))) xx :-D :-D :-D :-D

Go with your heart Tawny and do what you are comfortable with, not what people would like you to do <3 <3 <3

Tawny <3 <3

Awwww Tawny <3

Alzheimers took Mum away from us slowly and cruelly over 8 long years. In the last few months of her life I was the only one to visit her, I just needed to be with her even though she no longer had any speech or mobility. That was the right thing for me.

As each of the family members said they could no longer see her as they wanted to remember her as she was, I completely understood and still do. Not one of them regrets that decision and Mum would have understood.

Just know that when the time comes for her to go on, your Gran will be smiling down on you proudly and understand your decision. <3

So sorry, Tawny, I can understand how you feel and hope your Grandmother has a gentle passing. You have good memories of her so concentrate on those and don't let anyone make you feel bad about not visiting.

Lizxx

Please do what you want to. The day I had a call (end of Feb tis year) to say to get to the hospital straight away to see my dad. I could not go. My husband said I would regret it and I must go. I saw my dad the day before and could not bear to see him die so I stayed away. Do I have regrets no I don't as I will always remember him xx

Thank you to everyone who posted me messages. My grandma passed away an hour ago. :-(

Tawny <3 <3

My condolences to you and your Family, Tawny <3 <3

May your grandma RIP <3