General Chat

I have several messages asking where I am, well, I am still around but very stressed out!

About a month ago, I was quite poorly with a dreadful cough that kept me awake but as I got better o.h. developed the same cough. He had been working several weeks of 12 hr shifts due to the new worker who covered holidays and sick leave etc not turning up! It means 12 hr days which creases him, and means I have had to cook regular meals suited to his diabetic needs every day instead of having a few evenings a fortnight to myself, to meet with my son, or cook my preferred meals when I got back from going out, if he left me the car and bussed to work. It also meant him using the car daily as there is no bus early enough to get him in for 6am, so I was stuck for getting out and about much.

Just as the regular shifts of 6am to 2pm or 2pm to 10pm started again, one colleague's mother was rushed into hospital and has since died bless her, so that upset things again. O.h. had some holiday to use up so we booked this week at Sheringham in a house we have used before, we should have gone on Sat 5th and were looking forward to the break.

Then on Saturday Nov.28th while o.h. was at work (he works 12 hr shifts every Sat to catch up on maintenance work) we got a message to say his 84 yr old father had been rushed to hospital. He has had a major stroke losing all feeling down his left side. He had been driving his car the day before! Luckily he is still fairly with-it and can still speak but can't have solid food. He will,of course, be in hospital for a long time and probably won't get to live at his house again, it only has an outside loo downstairs and his wife is very frail, suffering from severe osteoarthritis and very fragile bones, she has shrunk to only 4'8" and mustn't lift anything, she can't hoover etc or do much at all. Our holiday had to be cancelled and o.h. is visiting as often as he can, all last week he got permission to visit in the mornings before going on to work. He and his two sisters are not doing very well at planning visiting so it's all or nothing, and they don't like stepmum altho she has been that for 40 years so it's a difficult state of affairs all round.

Obviously I am bearing the brunt of o.h's emotions, frustrations and tiredness so I can't think about Christmas much, hard to get in the mood! Next thing, I think o.h.will be ill, the pressure will be too much for him I think, and with him having had a bleed on the brain in 2008 I am concerned for him. His son came up from Essex on Friday to visit his Grandfather but the son in N. Y. hasn't even made contact.

Oh ain't life great, never rains but it pours!

Happy Christmas all

Lizx

oh, Liz


I am sorry to hear about all the stress OH is under.

Do please take care ............ and take great care of yourself xxx

<3 <3 to you and yours Liz

Poor OH such a lot of stress all at once and the irregular hours can't help his diabetes. and poor you because you are first in the line of fire. can only say, get as much rest yourself as you can and hope things improve for you. sorry to hear about your cancelled holiday too.

<3 <3 Stressful for you too Liz

Take good care of yourself......... everyone else needs you! Who will take care of you?


<3 <3

Take good care of yourself Liz Christmas is just another 24 hour day when your health isn't tip top (I know), before we can all turn round folk will be planning Easter etc.

Different matter if you have young children I know but when it's only adults and health not good look after yourself.

Merry Christmas to one and all. :-D <3

Frances xx

You are having a tough time of it at the moment. I hope things improve for everyone soon. Don't forget to take care of yourself while you are caring for everyone else

Oh Liz what a sod of a time you are having,abandon Xmas and don´t forget to take time for yourself.

Hope things get a little easier soon.

Oh dear Liz, i hope things settle down real soon

love and best wishes

Stella <3

Liz sorry to hear your news .Love to you & thinking about your family . <3 Barbra ,

So sorry that you are having all this stress right now Liz. I hope it will calm down before too long. Take care of yourself as well as everybody else. xxx

Hope things ease up soon Liz, as everyone has said take care of yourself also. xx

Liz <3 <3 <3

Thanks all. I went with o.h. to see his Dad today and managed to find a Dr to talk to o.h. and stepmum who was there. It was reassuring to hear that they are happy with P.'s progress so far and as he progresses with more therapy etc, he will be moved to a different hospital which is now set up in part as a rehab centre but only if and when there is a bed available. It won't be for several weeks yet. P. managed to eat some pureed fruit today while his wife held the container and even tho we got a bib for him,, he got most of it down without spilling it out of his mouth. All his food has to be pureed as he hasn't got full control of his throat yet, but I am sure it will improve as will the feeling in his hand, arm and leg. He can talk well and still has his dry sense of humour which is good.
He made us laugh by saying that when he had a catheter in, he enjoyed being able to tiddle while chatting with visitors, and they had no idea lol O.h. and I took stepmum home then went shopping. Got home and I had to help o.h. find the specs and case he had with him while out. He swore he must have left them in a supermarket so I had to ring round with no luck. After 20 mins he found them, in a place he said he had already looked! Grrr, he's a flippin' liabilty! Roll on next week when he is back at work!

Lizxx

Thinking of you Liz..I am going through a family crisis too and haven't been on here much since coming back from holiday...that's why I've only just seen this.

I do hope things settle down for you soon xx

Keep counting to 10 Liz. It's sure to get better in time. Take care now xxx

Count to 10, G? I am fit to scream with o.h., he is frustrated with himself for doing nothing else but visiting his father daily. It takes 4 hrs, the traffic is dreadful around Norwich these days and the hospital car parks are full to bursting so almost an hour to get there and park by 2pm then 2 hrs visiting and more hassle getting home. I sourced an adult bib which o.h.'s sister bought, and that is saving P. getting quite so messy, and o.h. went to the same place today and bought another, he also bought a squeezy ball to exercise the weak hand. The assistant asked if the items were for someone who had a stroke, and told o.h. that he was able to buy the items vat free which was useful as the bibs are £17+.

There was good news: P. can now swallow better, his food only has to be mashed instead of pureed and he is well enough to be moved to the rehab. centre which is not as far out of the city so easier for people to get to. P.'s wife can get free transport to visit which will be easier for her and everyone as she lives about 10 mins drive away from the centre. All he has to do is wait for a bed at the centre and then rehab. can begin in earnest and the future will become clearer as to whether P. will have to move house etc

I have to say I will be glad to see o.h. back to work next week lol He will visit during the mornings as a special arrangement and traffic and parking will be easier. He will only visit for a shorter time. It's been so stressful, he is emotionally and physically exhausted so is falling asleep all the time. He really isn't well himself but won't see his doctor. I am worried that he will end up with a stroke too, as he is just like his father in every way and having had a bleed on the brain already, is vulnerable. He still gets disorientated and confused at times but sticks his head in the sand and won't talk to his doctor, which is stupid. Men eh?


Will just have to hope for the best, in every way and take each day as it comes

Lizxx

BIG BIG HUGS Liz, you sound as if you need them. xxx

Today he had to go and pick up his stepmum, when he got there she had a list of jobs, replace a lightbulb, take out the recycling bin, containing a few pieces of paper, so that request was ignored as not worth putting out. Carparks all full again but P. was chirpy enough which reassured o.h. After taking stepmum back home, traffic had built up again so o.h. didn't get back till past 5pm, it's wearing him out.
Roll on the move to the rehab. unit.

Lizx

Aww Liz. so sorry to hear about all this. It will be very stressful for you all. I hope P. gets moved soon and can get on the road to recovery. Years ago my father in law had a stroke and was in hospital for 3 months and we were there every day, and at weekends my O.H and one of his brothers stayed over night with F.I.L. with 4 young children it was so stressful so I have an idea how you feel. I hope things get easier for you all and your o.h. can rest a little. Take care. xx