General Chat

Did anyone have "a show of presents" ?

Don't know if this was just a Scottish Tradition but, a girlie night was always held at the bride's home, a few days before the wedding where all the gifts were laid out.

After the drinks and food were served, the bride was dressed up and taken through the streets, with everyone singing and banging pots and pans

Last one that I went to was in the 1990's

My kids think this is the most ridiculous thing they've ever heard of.
Seeing it in type.... I have to agree but, it was the "Done Thing"

The traditional has replaced with the "Hen Weekend"
LOL

Island I did notice that one of the major stores gives a £50 voucher to the bride and groom if purchases from their list come to more than £250 so it's a win/win for the couple.

Thanks for all replies, it's been an interesting read :-)

*Did anyone have "a show of presents"*

Not in the SE, or at least our part of it. The closest would have been opening gift wrapped presents during the wedding reception and displaying them on a table.
With the advent of store based wish-lists or the alternative of money, even that is declining.

My nephew recently married and they didn't have a 'list'. They had already set up home together and as they both have good jobs they really didn't need anything. They had also booked and paid for their honeymoon. We gave money as did quite a few guests and this was gratefully received and will be put towards a few little jobs around the house. Everyone happy :-D

The last few weddings we've been to have been for nephews & nieces.... who all live some distance from us....... so we gave them all money, with a "recommendation" that it should be spent on fun! The next family wedding will be in November 2017,

Thinking back to our wedding....... we eloped, and got no presents, even from the couple who were our witnesses!

Lots of good memories on here...........bedding, casserole dishes, cutlery, dinner sets etc. - all gratefully accepted with thanks in 1968.

Our first home was a flat over the old stables/garage of the college where my husband was studying when we married. Lino on the floor with mats scattered around, second hand furniture and our wedding gifts as luxuries...... and we thought we were the bees' knees.... :-D

Those were the days.............. <3

Ironically, having read this thread I was not going to comment, but then I came across this little item on an Australian news site.

Although on an Australian site, the setting is the UK

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/marriage/wedding-guest-asked-by-bride-for-a-bigger-contribution-after-giving-her-200-cheque/news-story/857146a396f82b98558531ea5d0dfa4b

OH and I were married in 1970 and I recall hat we had a very short list of presents which would be most welcome. We had already started to acquire our own supply of items when we became engaged.

My grandson is getting married on June 4th.He bought my mother's flat when she went in a home in2002 ...at a reduced rate and a little help from me...he is a very hard worker and I admired him getting on the propert ladder at a young age.
He has a partner now and a little girl of 1.....they do it that way these days.

I am giving him money....at least they're having the marriage in church and reception in church hall and not off to Las Vegas ,or somewhere abroad,so it's not costing the earth and other people are there to see the traditional wedding.

His partner tells me that she bought her very expensive dress on E bay for £35 ...cost her more to have it dry cleaned!...well done I say.she is a hard worker as well...a very dedicated nurse for people with dementia..

When I married in 1956 ,I had the usual as others have said.I still have an ironing board...a very sturdy Andersay metal one...lost the sleeve board that came with it..
I've also got an ottoman and probably lots of my casseroles etc...
We weren't the throwaway society then.
How times and expectations change..

passing our local hotel there is a sign - "get married in 2016 for £2,500" - I nearly crashed the car!!!

I take it that's the charge for just the ceremony at that venue inc registrar(?) Ann.

Any trimmings inc? A glass of fizz and a canape for the couple perhaps? ;-) :-D

A nephew has been looking at marriage venues. Some start, just for the hire, at £20000. Then add food, drink etc!!

Andy

Cynthia, in our first flat, quite well furnished but the landlord had never heard of books, we had upturned orange boxes for bookshelves.

OH went to a local auction with £5 to spend and came back with a hoover for 30/-. It lasted for years! :-)

Weddings are horrendously expensive......mine wasn't lolol A piece of green paper meant nothing in the great scheme of things.

When daughter married they already had a house so needed nothing apart from my hubby knocking down walls whilst they were away...lolol

They had a list as their honeymoon was a 3 month round the world trip.

They listed things like a gin sling, a meal out, a street meal, a water rafting trip, walk over Sydney bridge etc., so people could just pay as little or as much as they wanted to and EVERY GIFT of MONEY COUNTED. Photos were taken and the guests who had paid for it were thanked. All gifts made memories for them no matter how small or large.

The daughter of friends of my mother had a HUGE wedding, cost her parents two arms and a leg.

The marriage lasted less than 2 years.

A few years after that............ the daughter got engaged again..... and expected her parents to splash out on another wedding! They refused, and she stopped talking to them.. as far as I know they still don't communicate.
:-|

We were at a lovely wedding in the mountains last year. The couple had lived together for four years so needed nothing. A little note was included stating that instead of gifts contributions for a local wildlife sanctuary would be very welcome. There were 200 people at the wedding and apparently a little over $5000 was donated to the sanctuary.

On a similar note, when my mum died two years ago we suggested donations to the local childrens hospital in mums memory instead of flowers. The hospital sent us a list of those who donated but did not include the amount. We were then able to send these contributors a thank you card. The charities send out tax receipts as well.

Weddings are expensive but, my daughter married in March which is not considered "marriage season"
Luckily it was the one glorious weekend in the entire month!

As it was out of season, the hotel were offering a "package price" for 100 guests
It included various extras. ( 4 rooms B&B for the bridal party and reduced rooms for guests etc)

From the beginning of April to end Sept the same venue charge for everything priced individually (meals per head, per room etc) and the same wedding costs almost TWICE the price

We also married in 1967, like so many others. We'd got engaged suddenly ............ we didn't even know we were serious about each other until that point, let alone family and friends knowing!. We got engaged in December 1966, OH left for the US in February 1967, and we made all arrangements by letter and a couple of phone calls............ deciding to get married in his parish church, our friends and all my family had to travel. My dad hired a small coach to take the rellies from my home town to where we were marrying. That worked well, because no-one had to worry about driving home after the reception.

We had a few kitchen items that each of us had bought while living in flats ..... I had a good set of kitchen knives, which are still in use ... but that was all, and we didn't know where we would be living after about August 1968. And most everyone knew that.

We didn't have a present list .............. OH's mother and aunt gave us money to buy what we wanted, telling us the upper limit they were willing to spend. His father would have "furnished a room in our first house", and put that money into an account until we actually were living somewhere that needed furnishing.

Otherwise, we got lots of stainless steel (much in vogue then) ranging from salt and pepper pots to serving dishes, kitchen towels, one set of Pyrex casseroles, wooden spoons from some children, and several sets of wine and sherry glasses ............... all of different designs. Only 1 person gave us sheets, and she must have gone on the local market to buy the "set" ............. it consisted of one sheet and 2 pillow cases. We still have the sheet, and laugh every time we use it ............ it's wonky, and will not fold straight! We got only one electrical item .......... a Kenwood Chefette mixer, unfortunately not the American voltage.

There WAS a display of our wedding gifts, although it wasn't common in either my town or that one. OH's mother asked everyone to go back to their house after we'd left the reception to go on a 3 day honeymoon, and she had set up the presents on a table in a large room that they had. Everyone could see what we had ............ one guy spotted that he'd given us a stainless toast rack and that there was another one on the table, so he told my m-i-l to exchange it before we got back for something that we didn't have. That's how we got a small stainless steel teapot! :-)

We still have almost everything, including the wooden spoons!

My landlady's son had got married in 1966 just after I moved from there into a furnished flat, and his bride put out a present list. I asked to see it because I thought I might buy a small "token" gift although I was not invited to the wedding ............... it had on it refrigerator, range, furniture, etc etc. Nothing fit into my price range, so I passed.


Daughter and her fiance went into one of the local stores and set up a wedding registry at Christmas before their wedding in June. She showed it to me after he had left ......... I gasped.

It was all fine china, crystal, silver cutlery, top line pots and pans, etc etc. Granted the china and cutlery came in place settings, so you could buy 1 or more of those, and the crystal came in sets of 6 of a type ................ but they were EXPENSIVE. I looked my daughter in the eye, and asked what about your university friends??

She'd been a bridesmaid that summer for a friend in another province .......... couldn't afford anything on the registry, and she'd also had to buy her own dress, and pay her own airfare over there. Finally 3 of the bridesmaids clubbed together to buy a set of 6 glasses.

She said that he wanted to start off with everything GOOD, nothing cheap. OK, so what about your friends who have not yet found jobs or are still students???

She phoned him that night, and I heard some raised voices ............... but she went back to the registry and added some cheaper items, including everyday glassware, cutlery, tea towels, etc.

I wouldn't have minded so much, but he didn't come from a wealthy family, so he hadn't been raised with that kind of expensive ware.

We gave them money to buy a bed and mattress, although they spent more than we had given ........... we didn't cover the excess!

Three of her cousins married in 2006 and 2007 ............. all had lived with their partners for varying times. We decided we had a budget for each wedding.

The first to marry, the boy, was the youngest but had lived with his partner for several years and had bought and furnished one house together. They asked for money towards their honeymoon (in Australia), but they also set up a small registry at a store. We objected to putting money towards their honeymoon .......... so we bought several pans and casseroles from the registry up to approximately our budget.

His two sisters made wish lists and neither asked for money. For one, we bought a couple of items from the wish list and gave them a cheque for the remainder of our budget amount. For the other, we bought two casseroles / serving dishes from an artisan pottery that she knew (not on the present list) but that we thought they would enjoy, and gave them a cheque for the remainder.

All seemed happy with that, and the 2 girls later told us what they had spent the money on.


We've seen some horrendous wedding registries over here .................. we don't buy from them

One-upmanship!

A previous post mentioned a washing-up bowl filled with useful things - my cousin who married in about 1966 received a dust bin full of every day necessities- loo rolls, lavatory brush, dusters, household cleaning products etc. I seem to remember it was topped with a very large bow! A brilliant idea as none of it went to waste.

I'm going to a wedding this summer and the Gift List has just been posted.

Requested items range from a table lamp at £70 to a veg peeler at £4.