General Chat

No Ladies, it's worse than that! Had a phone call from Andy, not a text, saying that they'd stopped at a petrol station to fill up on their way to Heathrow en route to Miami. Anne went into the shop to buy last Friday's copy of the Star and a packet of Wrigley's and bumped into the most notorious roue in the South of England, none other than Charlie Farnes-Barnes himself. Apparently, bold as brass, she waltzed out on his arm and sidled into his yellow Lambourghni, then they sped off up the motorway. Andy's a bit miffed as he'd already given Anne GGrandma's diamonds. I wouldn't mind myself 'cos most of it was a bit ostentatious but I always favoured the tiara. I just don't know where I've gone wrong with this boy, sob, sob!!!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! poor doggy !!!

Whimper ............................. snuffle snuffle

*screeches to a halt in discreet yellow lamborghini* Right - where's the one in charge ??/ This 'ere is a ransom note right ?? I've got a sniffling southern woman outside in the car and I ain't giving her back until that c*cky young aristocrat I swiped her from coughs up the real deal - these flaming things *throws GGrandma's jewels on table* .......... are blinking paste !!!!!! Ya got 24 hours to come up with the goods .................... *slams door getting trench coat shut in it* *reopens door - snarls - collects tails of trenchcoat - slams door again*

*sneaks back in and grabs Pepper the dog* *snarling* just for good measure Missus - I'm taking the mutt as well - I know it means alot to him cos he had a model of his head on the bonnet of his Ferrari ................. Mmmm that was rather cool - where'd he get it dun doll ????

*on phone* 'Ere Mrs Bakewell ??? Yep yep - done it - yep .......... Did ya get the note ?? Right - yep *laughs* And the insurance policy is in place ?? Yep *nods* right ..... yep okay Dont' worry about the mutt doll - got a nice sirloin he can have ..... Right - okay - now remember the plan right? act innocent - don't blow it !! ' *hangs up and smiles smugly*

Well he's been back, collected Pepper, given me a voucher for the garden centre but it's not the same is it? That Charlie Farnes-Barnes has a lot to answer for! He's robbed me of a DIL. I've had such a bad 24 hours First of all I had to take my dentures out 'cos I'd been eating so many salty peanuts and had got ulcers on me gums. No idea where they've gone but I suspect that Pepper buried them. Then in my happiness of getting shot of my Andy I had a steaming hot bath and put my glasses in my bathrobe and promptly sat on them when I was trying to manicure my tootsies for the impending wedding. As if that wasn't enough my hearing aid's gone for a burton, I suspect the youngest cat, he was nibbling my ear at 3 a.m. Just enjoy yourselves and if I can make it I'll be there in the charity ambulance

*enters room and rushes sobbing into Cherry's arms* *too traumatised to talk the words yellow and lamborghini break her wracking sobs* *slumping into the sofa her glance lands on a photo of Andy - her sobs increase in distress*

I haven't seen this thread before! I've only read Cherrys post but cannot stop laughing!!!!!

This is better than t.v.......................

Whre have you been Lesley ~~~~~~. This is high drama....

* snatches back wedding present * !!!

*a soothing cup of tea in hand her sobs subside slightly* *feeling a slight discomfort she ferrets under the sofa cushion - and pulls out a set of dentures* *her glance falls on the Prunuptia box in the corner of the room* Annnnnnnnndyyyyyyyyyyy *sobs inconsolably*

Hmmm guess you won't need a wedding planner anymore

* throws in another box of tissues* and a bottle of brandy...

*sniffs* *through sodden tissue* Julie ............. he ........ he thinks ..... I abandoned him ....but but I was kidnapped !!!!!!!!!!!! *wails* And then when he realised the loot was paste ......... he *sobs* just kicked me out of the lamborghini on the hardshoulder of the bypass ............. Will Andy .................. ever ........................forgive me ??? *more sobs*

*wonders if it's the right time to mention the upside of parents night*

(((((((((((((ROTFLMAO)))))))))))))

OoooH i've broke the thread again!! Better not join in anymore!! Mau ;0)(((((((

Sorry ............. I am just having a wee rest after my trauma *sniffs* And nursing a potentially broken heart until my betrothed returns :O(((