General Chat

We live quite high up, 1350ft, but Swowden is the highest.

Do you plan your meals and do a big shop, or shop daily ...?

A big shop once a week to stock up the fridge and feezer and buy the animal's food. Shop more often for fresh fruit and veg. I mainly decide the day before what to have the next day as we freeze all the basic meats and I have a well stocked store cupboard of pastas, rice and tinned tomatoes etc..I try not to repeat the same meal very often apart from the Sunday roast when the family come round

Have you got a favourite saying that has been passed down from your Grannies and possibly their mothers as well ? Here are two of mine, "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" and "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" both true.

One of mine is "You know what thought did, followed a dustcart and thought it was a wedding?" That was one of Mum's and she got it amongst others from her mum (who I never met - she died the year before I was born). But apparently she had loads of others and plenty of old wives tales too, often with a country theme, like cows sit down if it's going to rain or cats wash behind their ears if it's going to rain.

Have you had any other old wives tales passed down the generations?

My grannie always thought that walking by the Gas Works and breathing in the fumes was a good cure for whooping cough, so my brother and I both whooping and wheezing were taken for a walk around our local one.
Another one was if the berries on the holly bush came out early it would be a hard winter.

Did you suffer any of the childhood illness's that babies today have a jab for ? I have had measles, scarlet fever, chicken pox and whooping cough during my younger years but escaped mumps and German measles

Yes we've got a lot of berries around generally and I have to say I was wondering what winter would be like.

I had measles and chickenpox, but I've also had mumps 4 times! 3 times as a child and once as an adult when I was sent home from uni halls of residence to protect the young mens' manhood...

I've also had german measles 3 times. All since having the school innoculation and the one you have when you have your first ante-natal check up. The second time I thought I had a hangover after a good night out until the spots appeared by lunchtime. The third time it came on the day after I'd been helping run the toddler group I took my son to (he's now 24) and of course didn't realise I would be contagious/infectious (I get muddled between the two) so I had to get everybody informed as any of the other young mums might be pregnant. I felt awful for months until all the babies were born safely thank goodness. My dad's sister was born profoundly deaf and dumb for this reason and so was her husband.

I was listening to the radio yesterday and an NHS person who is having to encourage other health staff to take the swine flu jab said he is not sure he would have it himself because of it being very new and not enough evidence on the side effects front? How do you feel about things like that?

I'm due for a swine flu jab within the next couple of weeks because I have an impaired immune system due to chemotherapy. I will go to have it but if I was a young pregnant mum I wouldn't risk it.

What values were you taught by your parents when you were a child ?

Honesty was the main thing, which ironically can cause problems sometimes. If I don't want to offend someone I might have to find a way to say something without being untruthful, but I've been told my face always displays what I really think.

My son is at a disadvantage too. He can never hide anything from me. When he phoned home from uni I could tell in his voice if everything was OK or not but it might just take him a while to tell me what the problem was all along. You could say it's just a mother's intuition, but my daughter was different. At one stage she could be quite devious and I'd not realise. Thank goodness she's grown out of that.

If you have children - how d'you feel about not necessarily knowing exactly what they're doing all the time?

Mine are 20 and 23 and they both drive so as an anxious parent I always want to know where they are going.. (dau is usually in work and son in Uni ) not what they are doing but it does help if they say otherwise :)
Paranoid mother !!!..lol

Do you have living aunt or uncles ? My remaining maternal aunt, who I think of as my mum now.. they were so alike is 89 ......?

From Mum's side there are none left unfortunately although there were loads. So I have lots of cousins. From Dad's birth side, I don't know, but there was a sibling born 6 years after him so I live in hope of a miraculous contact coming up. Dad would be 93 now if he were still alive so I don't think any elder siblings are likely to still be alive. But you never know. From his adoptive family we went last weekend to my last remaining uncle's 100th birthday party. Although he's profoundly deaf (born deaf not through old age) his sight is only just beginning to go so he can still see sign language thank goodness. And he's more mobile than many half his age. My daughter said her boyfriend's 50 year old mum has difficulty due to her weight and of course her inactivity makes her put on more.

Uncle insisted on everyone going into the function room before him and making his grand entrance. He doesn't use even a stick or a helping hand.

Is there a part of your tree you're most wanting to solve?

Yes but I know it is impossible,
I have been doing family history for about 10 years now and about 6 years ago when I started looking into my dads family I found out after writing to my dad's cousin that my grandmother was illegitimate, I don't know if any of my uncle's or aunt knew there mum was born out wedlock, those things were never talked about within the family.
anyway I have only 1 clue to her birth father by her middle name and I have looked up the census for a person with the same surname around the same time as her birth I did find one likely candidate. but I can't take it any further, as by now he will be dead and probably his family never disscused it anyway. so I will never know who my real great grandfather was.

Have you ever met any new connections to your tree.?

Yes, not long after I started I found a second cousin I hadn't known about, so that was quite close. She lives in New Zealand and I told her that my daughter was planning to travel round a few months later in a camper van with her boyfriend. We struck up quite an email relationship and she invited them to visit her. We thought they would pop in for a quick visit on their way past but she invited them to stay for about a week and they had a great time. Her dad is still alive (named after my grandad I found out) and he and my daughter shared quite a bit of catching up on family our side of the water.

Also on my dad's side (he was adopted) once I got a breakthrough on his side of my tree it began to take off and I got a message from someone who wanted to meet. As I was eager for any possible leads to a closer living relative we organised a meeting with her and her dad (who would actually be my dad's 2nd cousin via his dad) They visited our new home last new year when plenty of other family were around. But although I was able to help her with a lot of paper records I had found on her dad's paternal side, she wasn't able to take us any closer to my dad's family as her dad had been born out of wedlock and had not known them either. Poor man had only known a very small part of his mum's family too as she had been pretty much disowned. It seems they were so desperate for relatives they included all my mum's side on their tree.

It's ironic I now have masses of corroborated information on dad's side going back to the 16th century on a couple of direct lines as they seem to be very well documented and quite prolific lines. But I can't move forward to making connection with closer living relatives. I now have much more documentation on dad's family than mum's.

Do you have any gaps like that where you have information but don't know the people involved?

Yes I am stuck on my dad's side ,although he and his cousin collaborated a lot info over the years over relatives ( they were on the phone for hours) lol..,he was 91 when he died( and had all his marbles) but poor auntie was 97 and had dementia 4 yrs after dad died.
He didn't speak to his sister for many yrs, but his sisters dau our cousins have recently met up. She stayed with my sister in USA for a week earlier this this yr and I met up with her at a school reunion( I gate crashed she is 5 yrs older than me) but I knew a lot of the peeps there and had a good time.
I was hoping but she didn't have any info on the family :(.. Shame.:((

Do you watch the tele,if at any time..daytime or evening ?

If I watch telly it'll mostly be in the evening. Maybe a quiz, sitcom, documentary or news programme. At the moment Saturday is Strictly and if I'm not around to watch at the time I'll catch it on i-player. I rarely watch in the daytime except if my son's rota means he's home and I might sit down for a cuppa with him on the days I'm home. He likes Eggheads and Countdown - he's ace at the maths questions. Sometimes I might watch in the daytime around Christmas but I'd rather go out for a walk. In the past OH could sometimes be a bit of a telly addict and occasionally we missed doing something I'd prefer because a "must watch" programme was on - especially if he was backlogged with recorded things to watch. I-player helps a lot but sometimes it works for us and sometimes doesn't - we're in an area where the internet connection can be too slow sometimes though BT won't admit it. At least you don't have to consider saving tape/disc space anymore. But he's just not so much of an addict these days either which I like a lot better. Sometimes on bad occasions we've checked our internet speed can go down to less than half a mb and can even drop completely usually right in the middle of something important. OH works from home one day a week and he needs to send important files and documents over the internet to clients by a deadline. We've been here a year now and it has improved and doesn't happen so often but it's not completely solved. I'm a county employee now and I find our systems at work very slow too compared with my London experience.

So much more is asked for, and would be easier or cheaper over the internet now. And doing things over the phone can be so frustrating with the levels and levels of choices you have to make on automated lines. But I realise now why some people who I'd expect to be more computer savvy go on trying to use that method.

Also the rate at which technology changes things can end up making some people even more vulnerable than they might be already because you don't get to talk to a real person unless you press the right button or understand the system. What do you think?

You have to be very careful on the net and emails. I'm no whizz but always delete incoming addresses if I forward them and never open emails that are cold calls.

What's for lunch today ? I must get mine finished!!

We have had baked potato's for lunch today. I like cheese ,my OH likes Tuna.


Do you contribute to any charities?

We used to only contribute in the street with collectors and occasionally at the door, but we've always had our favourites. Now we each send a small amount via direct debit to a couple of favourites which cover a selection of the types of charities we prefer. That way they get the tax back on gift aid which makes what we can afford go further.

I know the charities are having a tough time these days but I don't ever respond to the reps in the street who want you to do a direct debit there and then because they have a batch of papers under their arm with loads of people's personal and bank details which could get picked up by the wrong person if they drop them and miss picking one up, or if someone snatched them from them. I think this must also makes the rep quite vulnerable too.

Do you get annoyed by the likes of window companies cold calling you at the door or on the phone?

Exceptionally.. At the door I am polite but they get less than a minute of my time.
Hubby's worse they just ..no thanks from him.
I'm afraid I'm not so polite on the phone, I don't swear, but companies that continually telephone ( I'm not listed in the phone book) I loose my rag and tell them I am going to report them to the apt authority as cold calling is illegal....the phone goes dead straight away!!

Do you attend a bonfire display ? I live so high up and have great I've no need.lol

When my children were small we used to go to a firework display at their school and also on Guy fawkes night OH would have a few fireworks for them in back garden but once they got to teenages they were not interested. Now we only listen and watch the rockets going off through the windows in neighbouring gardens.

Today was armistice day and I have been looking through my grandfathers war memorabilia, have you any ancestors that fought/lived/died in the 2 world wars.?

My Dad was in the eighth army, one of the desert rats serving under Montgomery, he was in the Royal Corp of Signals. He was only 21 years old at the time of being called up.. My uncle Charles, who was a talented artist was killed by a sniper in Caen, France.Neither of my grandfathers served in the 1st world war, one was a diabetic and the other worked on the railways.

Do you have any medals which have been handed down ? I have my Dad's which I have in safe keeping to give to my sons, to keep in the family.

My brother has my Dad's medals, and a cousin has my grandad's, but someone he served under had a set of miniatures made for him as a token of appreciation. Grandad gave those to my Mum and she always had them with her on Remembrance Day. So now I have those.

My husband has his grandad's and his uncle's (he and his wife had no children to pass them to).

How are you faring in this wet and windy weather? We have a river at the bottom of the garden which is high but still well within bounds. About this time last year it came into the garden up to the willow tree but the house is on much higher ground so it shouldn't ever cause problems in that way.