General Chat

My own grandparents (mums dad and stepdads parents) were amazing, loving and lovely. I miss them. But my children arent so lucky with half their grandparents not seeing them. I dont understand it - when I have grandkids, if Im lucky enough, I'll love them so much. Husbands mother is having a party (nobody's mentioned her for so long I forgot she was alive) but not invited us. Husband will still go, me and kids wont. Best thing about it is, she left her kids when they were young and still took the child benefit, meaning my husband had to help support the family at a young age. I asked her to be Godmother to the kids, hoping to get her to be more involved, she has nothing to do with us! Bizarre. Apart from random messages on facebook about how proud she is of her OTHER son for racing a bike, we'd forget she exists. I dont understand how people can cut children from their lives yet expect everyone to respect and worship them on demand.

How sad, but remember she is the one missing out. Don't let it get you down. Have a great Christmas with hubby and kids, they are most important.
:-) :-)
Maddie

It's a mystery to me, I only had one grandparent alive when I was born but she was a loving one although she was a bit of a matriarch.
My children had grandparents that were very involved and they thought the world of them.
My own grandchildren only have us, we are with 2 of them every weekend the others live abroad now so it's more difficult but all still speak via skype and emails. We are very family minded people but not everyone feels that way.

I suppose so Ginnie. I dont live too near her so I wouldnt even expect anything from her, babysitting etc. Always coped alone as not had family anywhere near. Would have been nice if she'd just acknowledged her grandchildren/Godchildren really, we didnt expect anything more from her. Having our own little party when he clears off to his mothers, food, dancing and fun :)

That very sad but its her loss!!

we are grandparents and grt grandparents and very much involved with them all/

Even our 5 year old grt grandaughter rang Big grandad as he is known (I am Big Nanny) to ask if he was OK after he had a fall and spent the night in hospital .

We get BIG hugs and kisses when they visit .

Even our step grandson who has learning difficulties gives us big hugs and says i missed you when he visits .

When we were young though we too had one gran who was the cuddly gran but the other one was very haughty and only paid a state visit every 4 years of so and her grunt of acceptance when you said hello grandma was very reluctantly given .
This too was from family matters she took umbrage too way before mum and dad married in 1929!!

lol Shirley, 'state visit'. :-D oh well there's nowt as queer as folk!! x

Thats good really

who would want someone in their lives that is so heartless Family is about loving and sharing not excluding some and not others

My daughters baby has not met her grandparents on her fathers side.....She split up with boyfriend when she found out she was expecting. The babies father is now involved with the baby but his father wants a DNA test first (even though baby is the spitting image of her dad) and his mother has said she has a granddaughter, she doesn't need another.

Daughter has said she doesn't want anything to do with them now....their loss.

Mind you it would be difficult sorting out xmas visits with four separate grandparents over two days

Very sad indeed - the agony & ecstacy of motherhood.

Grandparents are such a valuable part of the family - mine were lovely - now as great-grandparents we were all thrilled with the 4-generation photographs, and my granddaughter had a special print made of the 4-generation photograph taken when she was born (and incidentally asked about putting her son on my family tree!). They all I think value the extra dimensions to the family, and it is really sad when the grandparents don't realise the value of these additions they themselves started

Jax, thats unbelievable, her saying she already has a granddaughter and doesn't need another....absolutely heartless. At least they have you!! Your profile photo is lovely. Kempina, yes I suppose that's true and I hadn't thought of it like that :-) I wish there was a 'like' button to press for each post like facebook has, I'd be liking Elizabeths and Dermot's too, all voices of reason. Well I feel better now getting that off my chest lol. :-D

I have 11 Grandchildren, 7 of whom are not my blood relations but I love them all just the same. All of them get exactly the same love and affection and I would not be without any of them

My husband wouldnt go unless his family were also on the list of invites,,,,, going by himself your OH is allowing her to exclude all of you and she is happy in the knowledge that she can still command his presence over you.

dont be sad about it......they arent really losing out of a grandparent ,as you cant get nothing out of nothing.........

:-D

It is so sad when a grandparent's 'dislike' of the spouse can spoil any relationship they could have with the grandchildren.

There is the other side of the coin as well.
A colleague of OH has only one child. They like the daughter-in-law.
Approaching retirement he wanted to retire abroad, but his wife (the sons mum) wanted to be around for the imminent birth of the grandchild.
Since the grandchild was born, the daughter in law won't even let them in the house!

Needless to say they are devastated and haven't been told what they've done 'wrong' to provoke such a reaction.

A subject so close to my heart...............I can't begin to write about ...
each time I have tried to add to this thread I feel overwhelmed ... my grandchildren have much love in their lives .....but I know they will never understand why their grandfather distanced himself from them and his own son and daughter................. by choice or circumstances...... who knows ?

Tragic that the most my granddaughter ever saw of him was at their mother's funeral..... and my 12 year old grandson, son of our son was greeted with 'hello, I am the grandfather you've never met' , how sad is that ? :-(

As many have said those that have not have been part of the lives of their grandchildren are the losers. They have never felt the pride and joy in their triumphs or being there to console them at the worst of times.

Jo

I only knew two grandparents - one from each side - the others died long before I was born. I rarely saw either of the live ones let alone have an idyllic grandparent/grandchild relationship and we all lived in the same town! I never felt rejected by them as I knew no difference.

Romany Star, are you sure the invitation doesn't include you and the children?

If you hadn't seen her for so long that you 'forgot she was alive' why are you bothered? Sorry if that seems harsh but I'm puzzled.
I'd be more bothered if my husband went to the party without me than his mothers attitude.

Put on your best frock and lippy, go to the party and flash a smile.
and stop looking at her facebook page.

Good luck:-D

Two things I can add to this:

We moved hundreds of miles away from my grandparents
with my Dad's job when I was four and we only saw our three
(remaining) grandparents once a year. It was the high spot of
every year, especially for me as the eldest and they were so
loving. At other times my parents had the most amazing
friends who were almost a substitute. Even though my
parents have passed on I still keep in contact with the friends
who remain.

Make sure that you leave details of your GR log-in with
someone that you really trust so that if you pass on sooner
rather than later your grandchildren and anyone else you
have lost contact with can look up all the family history. This
is a bit like dads being able to send birthday greetings to
their kids on FB even though they are 'not allowed' to see
them and eventually some of the kids do actually make
contact with their dads when they grow up a bit and realise
that what their mother says is only one version of the truth.

Don,t always blame the Grandparent.There are sometimes good reasons for having no contact with grandchildren,. :-(

'Children's children are a crown to the aged'. (Proverbs 17 v 6.)

My son has three step daughters. OH has two grandsons and three step grandchildren, so despite having no biological offspring's I am now knee deep in grandchildren. I love them all they all love me, its exhausting and totally amazing they bring so much joy and unconditional love into our lives. I have actually woke in the night laughing at some of there comments. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

#happygranniepaula <3