General Chat

I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM TESCO!!!............ Yesterday I was at my local Tesco store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's backside and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tesco. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say. Forward this now, (especially) to all your mature friends...... it will be their laugh for the day. lmao :-D

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that's so funny ;-) ;-)

Stray goes mad with me for pretending to be deaf
and making the assistants shout very load :-D :-D

daft maybe but makes me smile

Tesco - if you crack a smile you pay for it :-D

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Very good.......... :-D :-D :-D :-D


Looks like the mature friends are all looking Mildred..... :-)

OMG ...I just love you our Mildred..
came on here for a quick recky ...this is PRICELESS
XXXXX

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You are joking are'nt you...??...l mean did you really tell this poor lady that awful porky and she and Tesco's believed you??

jude :-D :-D

Dunno about being banned, I reckon you should've been chained up, in the car park........with a bag of My Dog nuggets tied around your neck!!

Personally, I think whatever you eat is your own business! :-D

I'm a southerner, but love tripe (a luxury nowadays as no-one down here sells it). If I dare mention a lusting for it, in 'refined' company, people edge away from me........

That's so funny :-D :-D :-D

I was banned from the Zetland Arms in South Kensington nearly 50 years ago - can't for the life of me remember why ;-) Don't think it was anything to do with dog food.

I wonder if it's safe to go back yet :-D

Edit - I lied, I can remember why :-D :-D :-D

well?

Spill it, Wend!!

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Mildred, I am having a really tough time at the moment, (thats why I am on here at this stupid hour) but having just read your story, well, what a tonic. It really made me smile and I havnt done that for quite a while. Thank you pet. <3 <3

That's what you get for telling porkies ,he he,but i have to say ,if i had been behind you ,I would have landed up in the intensive care ward with a heart attack through laughing so much.
Trouble is ,if i try something like that ,i can't keep a straight face ,lol :-D :-D :-D :-D Fred.

By an amazing coincidence a woman was banned for exactly the same reason back in 2011. The only difference being that she was buying Winalot.

Tesco don't like it do they?