General Chat

Not sure how to put this ?? My hubby is a practising Roman Catholic,in his younger days he was an altar boy at his local RC church

We married in his church although I am baptised C of E but not a church gower .

I did take the 6 sessions required of me prior to marriage but the priest gave up on converting me!!

Now !! he has been attending our local RC church since we moved in the area in 1967. our daughter too married there in 1977 , BUT he is finding it difficult now at 80 and with health /balance/walking to go to Mass on a sunday. I have been taking him and dropping him off outside church but to pick him up he has to cross over the busy dual carriage way A2!!

He hasn't been to church now for some 6 weeks and is feeling lost

I have tried to get the priest to come in to see him but have met with a BIG FAT ZERO response from the church

To say I am disgusted/disappointed with their lack of care to dedicated RC just really enforces why they didnt convert me before we married .

I am concerned for my hubby with his health problems that things may happen that may not be where he wants to be with his beliefs

I would hate for him to pass and not to be were he hoped his church would be behind him

I hope folks know what i am saying

As an atheist - but fully aware how those with faith may feel, is there another RC church /priest in the area who you could talk to?

Dear Shirley

Hello

I am very sorry to read this.

At the churches or places of worship I have had contacted with,
there was never any problem in getting a priest/vicar to visit a sick parishioner.

Does your husband's church have a pastoral group that could send someone?

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Otherwise, I would suggest that you contact another church.

You would soon find better support than what you have experienced.


Take gentle care, Shirley
With good wishes
Elizabeth,
xx

Maggie No there isnt .The local church did do mass at another offshoot church but they closed it down as the number of congregation did not warrant it

BUT you need a car or other transport to get to his local church anyway

Knowing how important his faith is to OH I was taking him and dropping him off and going on to do a top up Tesco shop then picking him up after mass

It seems if you arent one of the in crowd or on on their radar for some reason ,probably money :-P then you arent important

Sorry but all this just makes me enforce all my prejudices when we married

Sorry Elizabeth our posts crossed

We went to say farewell to my brother yesterday, our daughter came and picked us up and took up from Kent to london for his funeral

She knows now important his beliefs are to her dad so has emailed them AGAIN .

To me though it seems if you arent one of the in crowd who are sucking up to the priests then forget it

I sound very bitter BUT then I am concerned for my hubbys mind place as he fights his health probems

Shirley, I can imagine how you feel.
I fully understand your feeling of being in the 'in crowd',

Have you tried 'googling' priests in your area? There may be one who is happy to come to people's homes.
Also, if you contacted another one, he may put the boot up your local one :-D

I know what you mean.

My family (in Scotland) were and some still are, members of a church.

My grandmother sang in the church choir, many of my cousins were married in the church, I went to Sunday school until we left for Australia. My aunt (Mum's sister) was a member for her whole life, and attended services until she had a stroke in her mid 70s.

My cousin asked the minister if he would visit her mother....... he said he only visited people who attended church! It was pointed out that Aunt had been a church member since she was about 18. Didn't change his mind.

A Christian? Don't make me laugh.

doesnt it make you so angry that they only want the suck ups in their cosy shells

I am so UP THERE for my hubby as he ,bless him, fights for his words and tries to keep himself on even keel

My worry is he will lose himself but I would hope whilst he still knows who he is and is lucid his church will be behind him

I aint that confident on that as it seems to be the in crowd only who have the priests attention

Can't believe this _when I was very immobile at home our priest at once asked if. wanted communion at home _we have some specially trained helpers who will do this and I am sure he would visit personally if asked

The priest has an obligation to visit the sick and elderly. go higher and tell them what you have told us. This shouldn't happen and the priest needs reprimanding for being so heartless.

When I was visiting Scotland I went to a "ladies evening" run by the church with my cousin, all about (yawwwwn) floral art.

The ladies committee had run raffles for years, proceeds going to the church.

The minister (the same one who wouldn't visit my aunt), didn't think it was right to gamble on church premises (that included raffles), so the ladies had to rent a hall at the community centre, rather than use the church hall.

The raffle was drawn..... and 1st prize was won by the minister!

He'd only been minister there for a few months...... I wonder if he's still there, or changed his outlook?


:-0

Hi Shirley. I was so very sorry to hear this and sadly, even as a practising Christian, I am not completely surprised.

We are from a generation where the local vicar/priest was regularly seen on the streets of his parish - he knew his people and his people knew him. They were available 24/7, and responded to cries for assistance and support.

Whilst there are still some of that ilk around (our late lamented vicar was such a man), I hear more and more tales of clergy who are unavailable except between the hours of 9-5 and who rarely return telephone calls and emails. They certainly don't receive the training they used and seem to ignore the fact that they have a pastoral responsibility and duty towards their parishioners. (The noise you can hear, is me tearing my hair out!)

Many churches offer home communion to parishioners who are no longer able to attend church - have you actually spoken to the priest, or just put some feelers out?
Is the email address up-to-date I wonder? If the priest refuses, point blank to visit, then I would suggest you contact the diocesan office and ask for their advice.

I wouldn't suggest contacting other priests at the moment as they are each responsible for their own parish - there are certain rules and guidelines about overstepping the mark in someone else's parish.

I understand that you have a lot on your plate so, if you would like to pm me the name of the church, I will gladly do the research on the best person for you to contact.

Hope it all gets sorted out very soon as I completely understand how much this must mean to your husband.

Cx.

Scozz, it may have been somebody 'higher' up or written into something or other about the raffles. I was brought up a Baptist and we were not allowed to have raffles or anything similar on the church premises, nothing to do with the minister. (My mother never bought a raffle ticket in her life.)

Shirley, do you have contact at all with anybody else who attends the church your husband attended? If so could you speak to them and ask them what you should do. I find it very strange that the priest has refused to visit. I don't know anything about the R Catholic church but I feel there must be somebody above that priest who you could approach. Not that I would feel happy about him being visited by somebody who didn't think enough of his faith to do it without being told. It makes a mockery of his (The priest's) religious faith).

We haven't been refused just been completely ignored.

I put a written request into the church and it's been met with complete silence

Our daughter has now emailed them so will wait a while to see if we get any contact

I would advise the same as Susan Wiv. It is a priests duty to adminster to the sick and disabled. I will say my local priest is an absolute Gem.

I'm disgusted by this.

Mum and Dad were both C of e and the vicar and the congregation were wonderful when they were slowing down or ill.

It's the priest's job - complain to the bishop.

Shirley have a word with Age-uk in your area,,,,they maybe have someone who could assist in getting husband there and back to mass,while you persue the other matter.

The RC church my mom attended were so good / they arranged for her to be collected and bought back. The priest and nun visited her when she was in the home too.
Hope you get a good response Shirley.

Mary

Its a disgrace that they are acting like this towards your OH. Perhaps if you Emailed the Pope at the Vatican he may kick someones butt and remind them of their duty.**M**

Might be worth dropping the priest a quick line if you have a postal address for him, just in case it was the wrong email address or he has missed your email if he gets a lot of them.