General Chat

Very slightly off topic, and yes it is an old one, but still good

Ode the spell-checker

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

:-D :-D

My late and lovely friend Audrey used to mangle the language a bit but I can only remember one instance and that was that her friend always gave her a bottle of Tia Marie for Christmas.

I can, however, remember a couple of the words that her uncle would cut up and rearrange . His neighbour, the one who rode a little motor peg came along to the barleycue they had last week-end.

He lived near Guildford and, as you left the A3, there was a big, hand painted sign displayed. It was informing the public that Jack Russell puppy's was for sale.

Well, I hope it was one he didn't want any more and that he was getting a nice new one.

That café that Fred used to use had, in a previous life, had a sign in the ladies toilet asking ladies not to put sanitary ware down the toilet.

I had never tried to do this as it would take far too much effort to smash up porcelain small enough to get it down there and I had better things to do with my time.

'I'm afraid not'. or 'I'm a frayed knot'.