General Chat

Dear All

Hello

Hope you are okay.


When introduced, should a man stand up for a woman?

Are there still acts of chivalry by men and graciousness by ladies?


Take gentle care
Best wishes
Elizabeth, EOS
xx

To answer your second question Elizabeth

As long as they are not behind the steering wheel of their car searching for a parking place on the school run ;-) ;-)

‘Good manners’ in the UK - when were they abolished?

Thank you.

Hi Elizabeth
I think most men (well those I know ) still stand when being introduced to a lady.They would also give up a seat.I know my Son does.Good manners cost nothing
Sadly though these days there are too many people who seem to have either forgotten their good manners or have never been taught them.
Only last week I was just about to go through a shop door and the person in front of me just let it go and I almost went straight into it
:-S

yes Jane........

although is good manners akin to consideration for others?

I think good manners in general have declined.
I dont think particularly in the sense that men should open doors, etc., for women as hopefully we are moving towards equality between the sexes. But anyone letting a door slam in someones face is bad mannered.

When a child bumped into me and apologised, i nearly fainted.!!! very unusual and usually they carry on running and parents that have seen it just ignore.!!!

Jane, your son is obviously well brought up, as i hope mine is . Nice to know there are some good manners left.

As an oldie i mostly agree about modern manners, but 70 years ago, my mother would have been on the doorstep, saying exactly the same thing.

Happydays

Unfortunately there are modern bad manners.
On a narrow set of steps, I was brought up to believe that the person furthest up/down had 'right of way'.
Nowadays, if someone's on their mobile, they seem to assume everyone has to 'give way' to them :-|
Same on pavements - the worst are those on mobiles who pace back & forth. You try to pass them, they bump into you - apparently it's YOUR fault.

Very true Maggie. That brings into question another thing that one sees all the time and that is people in groups chatting and some on mobiles just playing games or something.
I dont think younger people would have a problem, but i find it very bad mannered if i am with a group of people, and for instance someone gets their phone out and plays with it. :-D

I like to think I was brought up to have good manners and to think of others and that I have instilled the same with my children (now adults) and they will do the same with any children they may have in the future.
Maybe there should be a campaign to remind people of these things :-D

Good manners are a very sore point with me at the moment.

Last week I attended a hospital appointment.

Making my way slowly along a rather narrow corridor, on an artificial leg, and an elbow crutch.
Coming in the opposite direction was a rather large lady, twice my size, with her head down.
I stopped, but she didn't hesitate, hitting me very hard with her shoulder as she passed.
Having little balance I crashed to the floor on my back. Artificial leg going painfully in one direction, elbow crutch in another. The handle of the crutch hit me in the mouth as I went down, knocking out a tooth.
The woman didn't stop, although she must have been aware of what she'd done.

A doctor and another man picked me up off the floor.

This is an extreme example of bad manners, though I have to say, that generally speaking most people are well mannered, in particular young people, who often get a bad press.

Tec.

Only chavs fail to give up a seat, open a door etc for the fair sex and any gentleman knows how to do so smootly without in any way suggesting that the damsels are inferior. Giving the ladies space is one of the minor pleasures of everyday life. Women on their part should know how to accept gracefully.

It is one of those weird things with mobile phones that there are now "group apps" which allow a bunch of people to listen to the same music at the same time and all sorts of other stuff. Fair enough but the weird part is that the teenies like to do this while only a yard or so apart ... they end up in a sort of Beats huddle looking like a washed up turtle. Quite why this is fun I have no idea.

The one get gets on my goat ~ people who take up ALL the footpath.

A group walking together, side by side, and they GLARE at the person walking in the other direction! I'm sure they expect others to walk on the road.

:-(

Tec,that is dreaful and how she didnt notice I dont know,,,,,,,,

If manners are lacking from someone ,I just re-enforce my own and keep it up,,,,,the penny drops sometimes. :-D

That's terrible Tecwyn!!
Manners cost nothing; lack of them speaks volumes.

As some of you know, I spend much of my life living a hotel, and currently I am at a popular beach resort where it is high season and, therefore, full. I am alone for much of the day so indulge in a good deal of people-watching - and I see all sorts of weird and wonderful goings on!
One of the worst spectacles is people's dining habits/table manners. It seems that it's the under 40's in the main, who have never been taught how to....
sit at a table properly; use a knife and fork; chew with their mouth closed.
Most of them don't appear to know what a napkin/serviette is for, but worse than that is how they think it's ok to allow their small children to wander around unsupervised, helping themselves to the buffet food.....small fingers delving in and out of salad dressings, biting into things and putting them back, poking at cream gateaux and scooping soft desserts out of bowls :-S

Worse than that though.....
yesterday, the couple sitting near me at the pool decided to get out their nail clippers and cut their toenails...eeeeuuuwwwww!!!! :-P :-0 Have they no shame!

Yep, I know I'm a grumpy old woman. :-D

Rollo, 'Only chavs fail to give up a seat, open a door etc for the fair sex'
??????? That's a bit of a sweeping statement.

Some of the rudest people I've met have had more money than sense. They seem to think the world should move for them. Oh yes, they'll be polite with their 'own', but anyone they see as 'below' them - why should they bother?

I occasionally meet groups of lads sat on steps in and alleyway I go down - probably chavs, but I don't presume these things.
I merely say 'Excuse me', and they've moved - quite often asking me if I'm okay walking down the steps! :-S (I'm not a pensioner yet!!)

Karen, I too hate children running around a restaurant - or pub, for that matter. I'm pleased to say, my grandchildren (4, 6 & 12) sit to the table to eat, and any 'bad habits' my daughter or I miss/overlook, the 12 year old will chide her brothers for - she's quite the harridan when it comes to table manners
:-D :-0

Actually, the 12 year old (B) got a rude awakening when she was about 16 months old. She was in a highchair at the table. My daughters and I were sat at the table, eating, and in conversation.
B decided she wasn't getting the right amount of attention, and started squawking, and throwing her food about.
No--one said anything to her, but, as one, we all silently turned to look at her - this wasn't pre-determined, it just happened.
B was so freaked out, she sat there stunned, then burst into tears!!

An early lesson in the power of a group!!!

I recently had to go to a place called Langley Mill in Derbyshire. Really, really weird M Winchester should give it a try if she finds chavs OK ...

When they were under 14 I would not have dreamt of taking my kids to a restaurant ... TGIFriday, Harvester and PizzaHut are fast food joints not restaurants. Very good for browsing hungry kids though and their antics don't bother me. It is their natural habitat.

I very much dislike children running around restaurants and cafes. My daughter would never allow it. My son's boy also has good manners I'm happy to say.

Another thing I don't like is seeing groups of people socialising when half of them are playing with their phones. Very rude in my opinion.

I think it is quite rude to invite a small child to an environment that is unfamiliar to it and not really meant for it to be in anyway and then expedid need ct it to be comfortable with not enough attention.

What about the parents who trail a small child behind them whilst totally ignoring them because they are engrossed in a conversation on their mobile phone.

Those people who can take up a whole aisle with one trolley in the supermarket. There was a man the other day who was standing behind his trolley which was facing the products he was deliberating over, thus blocking an entire aisle whilst deciding whether he really did need some washing up liquid.

If there isn't much room in an aisle and I let somebody through, then they don't say "Thank you" I say it very loudly for them.