General Chat

Last Saturday we had to travel to Albany as my OH was singing with her choir at the Parish Church the following morning.

We agreed to leave at 0830 and the journey would take just under four hours.

We actually left the house on time and OH asked me to drive. Fine!

We hadn’t even got out of the carport before the argument started!

The reversing sensors went off and OH accused me of driving out at such an angle as would ensure that I hit a small retaining wall.

ME?

I pointed out that if she drove straight under the carport rather than at the weird angle, as is her wont, there would be no reason for my tricky manoeuvres.

She suggested that I drive back into the carport and try again; I made a suggestion (not a very polite one) and stormed out of the car telling OH she could drive as, obviously, I was incapable.

The neighbours must really love us. We have no secrets from them, as all our shortcomings, as seen by each other, are regularly paraded at full volume!

Now, you may be wondering what all this has to do with the title of the thread, but I am merely setting the scene for what subsequently happened.

All went well (apart from the icy silence in the car) when the GPS told us to take the second exit at the first roundabout two kilometres from home.

I advised OH to take the third exit as we were going to use the new bypass road to travel to Donnybrook, then via Boyup Brook and Frankland to Albany.

As we approached Donnybrook, the GPS advised us to continue eighty seven kilometres to Manjimup.

NO WAY! A few weeks previously we had travelled to Albany via that route and the journey took over five hours. The roads were mainly down to single lane as the clean-up was still taking place after the recent major bush fires in that area. It was my suggestion at the time that we should try that route

So we turned onto the Boyup Brook Road. The GPS immediately told us to turn right.

We didn’t.

And then the games began.

On the entire journey to Boyup Brook, the GPS told us to turn right. When we didn’t, the GPS recalculated our distance to destination, which kept increasing, as did our expected time of arrival.

At least it did it in silence, unlike my daughter’s, which gave the electronic equivalent of a sigh and said, “Recomputing Distance to Arrival”

Between my OH’s stony silence and the incessant female voice of the GPS, I was slowly going insane (well, more insane than I usually am)

Once through Boyup Brook, we turned on to the Frankland River Road.

A few years ago, I worked for short time with the Boyup Brook Shire Council, but must admit that I had never travelled on this particular road before. Nevertheless, it was the correct road as there was a bl**dy big sign proclaiming it to be the Bunbury to Albany Road via Donnybrook, Boyup Brook, Cranbrook, and Frankland.
However, this intelligence was no acceptable to the female GPS announcer, who still demanded that we turn right onto an unsealed road, although to my fevered imagination there appeared to be a note of superciliousness in her voice, as if she knew better

At this point, I lost it completely, and in the absence of being able to argue with OH I started to argue with the GPS.

It; “Turn right”

Me; “No we’re going straight on”

This went on for some time, until, gradually, it dawned on me that there was no other traffic on the road, nor had we seen any further signs.

And the GPS was still telling us to turn right.

I'm sure , that at that point, I heard my OH give a faint snigger


To be continued

Having been a van driver for far too many years in my youth, I still have van drivers instincts and I don't like sat nav.

My finest hour was when I was directing us to a venue where OH was to work and it was in a very complicated place to find.

He finally gave up on me and put the sat-nav on.

"Proceed for fifty yards and it is on your left."

Oh smug,smug joy!

Are you home yet?

:-D

Ooooeeeeer :-0 :-D

Sharron, what happened next will be in part two :-D

PH after a seven day search the rescue teams found us and we are safely ensconced at home :-D :-D

Just as an aside, I travelled thousands of kilometres through the Australian bush in the early 1980's, before there were such things as satnavs, gps's or satellite phones. I never seemed to misplace myself :-D :-D :-D

Don't you love the "Turn around when possible" while programming the sat nav at home ;-)

Turn Around, you must!, the second exit you must take!

:-D :-D :-D I bet the GPS received some strong words!

This comes to mind Allan! ;-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78b67l_yxUc

Not quite, Jem. :-D :-D :-D

But if I had a hammer :-| :-| :-|

We don't have SatNav in the car but OH has it on his phone so we occasionally set it. I call ours Flora as the voice reminds me of my old Latin teacher. Flora's finest moment was when we were travelling on the Essex section of the A12 and she kept trying to make us turn left, each failure to do so was followed by a weary "route recalculation". As we knew our route I picked up the phone to turn it off and noticed the display. Flora was trying to direct us around Fen Ditton in Cambridgeshire!

There are occasions when Flora and I are on the same side........when she sternly tells OH to "Observe the speed limit" :-D :-D

:-D :-D :-D

I SAW A YOUNG MAN AND HIS WIFE HAVING A RIGHT OLKD BARNY HE WAS CRYING SOMETHING AWFULL
SHE ENDED UP STORMING OFF ,,, ON THE PHONE SHE SAID
DAD YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT ,
HES IN A RIGHT STATE THE SAT NAV IS BROKE AND HE CANT DRIVE WITHOUT IT,,,,I KNOW DAD WERE HALF HOUR FROM HOME

We have ( or rather had as one has gone wrong) 2 Sat Navs, one, a Tom tom (that has gone wrong or given up) and one integral to OH's merc. The Tom tom one we call gladys and she is easy to listen to. The merc one is Mabel and her voice grates, it is nasal. However OH often has it on for part of a journey, the other part of which he knows well, sow e are dodging around in and out of roads that neither Gladys nor Mabel want us to be on. (depending which device is in use not both at once Lol). Yesterday coming back from Bristol airport we only needed it for the first part and Mabel sounded quite stroppy as she told us to turn around for the umpteenth time, and then I can imagine the sigh and mutter of 'why do you switch me on if you are not going to listen'. as She is 'recalculating'. Oh yes and we do talk to them. Re speed limits, OH is a bit naughty sometimes on the motorway and if he inadvertently hits 80 there is a very loud trumpet call. :-D :-D.... Plus a few word from me.

Ours is called Matilda but she hasn't been out of her box for a while.

Allan, love the story can't wait for part two

My sister uses one all the time. When we travel together (usually the longer journeys sister makes), we have 'the Old Bag' (sat-nav) on, and I have a tablet, with a map of the journey!
My sister will not drive on motorways, so the tablet is 'back up' to avoid them.


....and yes, we both answer the Old Bag back when she tells us to 'make a U turn' :-D

Maggie does the satnav not have an avoiding motorways option?

OH suggested we get SatNav (could have had it in the car but declined) for our holiday later in the year - driving down to the Italian Lakes. We are both averse to the technology :-) He came in from shopping trip and said 'I bought the SatNav' - before I could complain he threw me a European road atlas. We'll use phone maps if we need backup.

On the way home from a holiday in the West country, before the days of the satnav, and after missing the turn-off....
Grandson. "You're lost Grandad". Me, "No I'm not, I just don't know where we are"

One is never lost, Bob, but geographically challenged ;-)

never a dull moment at your place Allan :-0

Not SatNav or GPS......... a few months ago we had to go north, following printed instructions sent to us by someone at the place we needed to get to.

Everything was fine until we found the building...... it was on the other side of the road, and there was a full median strip....... we had to drive another 10 minutes up the road until we found a suitable/legal place to du a U-turn!

We always say........ we never get lost, we just see new places :-D