General Chat

Your ex's view was enshrined in law until the 'Married Woman's Property Act' of the late 19C.

Until then a married couple were one person and that person was the husband.

As for working, when I had far too much work and was struggling to get it all done to deadline I dreamed of not having to go out to work.

Then, without warning, I became a carer and didn't have to go to work. Stir crazy or what!

No-one wants to take up my point of the vast majority of women automatically becoming Mrs His Name?

Women are not legally bound to take the mans surname.

Why don't more couples become Mrs and Mr HER Name?

Why start marriage as the little woman and then complain about his attitude later in life? :-S

Any man with that attitude wouldn't have survived one date, let alone marriage!

I am a Mrs MyName :-D :-D - his was far too common ;-)

I married DH when I was 36.

We had to travel a lot with his job, some countries would not accept us as a married couple unless we had the same surname.

I use his surname, it makes life easier......... doesn't bother me, I know who I am.

:-)

A young relative of ours (married to a nephew) wouldn't take his name when they married. A couple of years later, she had a big argument with her father, so stopped using his surname & changed her name by deedpoll, to her mother's maiden name. Sure enough, she had an argument with her mother............. I think she now uses her maternal grandmother's maiden name. :-S

When my sister got married she was known by colleagues all over the UK as Miss Owl so it was easier for her to keep her own maiden name. My mother did take my fathers but then she didn't like her own. My other half and I never married so I have never had another name other than one I was born with.

'Britain has now the highest percentage of inter-racial marriages in the world'.

Assimilation may have caused a shift in some opinions.

I don't know any couples where the man has taken the wife's name, though I am sure there are some, but I know a lot of couples in all age groups where the wife has kept her own name.

Island, why do you think that taking the man's name means you "start life as the little woman". I've never felt the least bit subservient to my husband though I use his name. Surely it's your attitude to each other that matters, not which name you are known by.

52 years ago when people seldom made any changes to the traditional marriage service I did cause a bit of shock/horror amongst the traditionalists in my family when, with the full support of my then fiancé, I had the word "Obey" removed from the vows I made. Promising obedience to your husband always seemed to me to be far more contentious than a change of name.

I have a British friend who in spite of living in Germany for over 34 years when marrying a German - he took her surname- she said he preferred hers to his surname.

As for the title of 'Mrs' I have always been proud to be known as my husband's OH. What does bug me is Ms.

Well when i married in 1993, i too had the word "obey "removed as i made it clear then he didnt own me, couldnt own me and never would. It raised a few eyebrows up here but i stood my ground. Im also known as Mrs( my initial) and his surname not by Mrs (his initial )and surname which some do.

I actually wanted to keep my name but by the time decided to do it, it was too late.

But its never too late to change it back!

Florence
in the hebrides ;-) :-)

I am Ms and always have been.

I never did like the idea of having a different prefix, as if my marital status was the business of anybody but myself.

It is not as if single men are called Master.

I could not wait to get rid of my maiden name it was very common not that I am a snob at least us girls can change our names unlike the boys, I don't know any man that have taken the wife's name on marriage because of any boys they might have carrying on the name

I am the last one in my genealogical line,there are no males to carry on my maiden name.
If i had realized this would happen then i would have kept my maiden name when i married , then my son could have carried it on.

Why can't boys change their names? :-S Anybody can change their name.

I know of two men who took the womans name.

It seems that many young women of today still want to assume their husband's name. We've attended 3 marriages either of relatives, or the daughters of close friends, all of whom became Mrs (husband's name).

One of the husbands even suggested taking hers, or double-barrelling it. And to think we burnt our bras (mentally if not literally!) on their behalf.

All 3 young women have University Degrees and careers (as opposed to jobs). There's still a long way to go.
.............

Although it was a financial struggle at times, when the children were young I was by choice the stay-at-home mum and care-giver. OH certainly didn't pressurise me to do so, nor object when I went back to work. He may have been influenced by his mother; she was in paid work for most of her life.