General Chat

Not wanting to put a downer on the idea of giving him these pages, but to be honest, I don't know the lad, but he probably wouldn't care less what we are saying about him on here if he has no respect for his mum.

What you could do Esta, when you have made up your new rules, put them around the house on post-it notes to remind him.

In the bathroom, put the toilet lid down, pick up your towels/clothes, put dirty washing in washing basket.

In the kitchen, wash your dishes.

In the lounge - put your stuff away.

on the inside of his room on the door - is your room tidy? have you took the dishes to the kitchen?

drive him mad! he won't wait to get out. He will rip them up, but keep replacing them!

On the day before you shop....if you want something from the shop, leave me the money with your list!

Get him organised!

If he won't go to work because you won't drive him. Get him out of bed by banging on his door every 5 minutes to get him up. If he doesn't like it, tell him you won't stop until he is up and off to work. If you can get into his room when he is still in bed, throw water over him. That will get him up.

Mean...I know. But he has to start taking notice of you if he wants to remain in the house.

I am only presuming this, but I would like to put a bet on the fact that he is out with his mates till all hours? If so, one of your rules can be that he is home by midnight or you will lock him out....but bolts on the inside of the doors so he can't get in. Another reason why having his own pad, will give him some freedom.

Chin up....you CAN make it better for yourself.

Dee
XX

To be honest Esta I recall you being in the same boat with this son was it about a year ago.??
In my mind the biggest problem you have is with your husband.,until he stops undermining you and starts backing you up this merry go round will just carry on spinning,and all the great suggestions people have made now and back then wont change a thing .

It is difficult with having no support from your husband. I would definitely show this thread to both of them. Your son may shrug it of but at least he will know what you are asking of him is the way of the world and not you being difficult.

Does he really think his girlfriend is going to still be his girlfriend when/if she returns home. Going to uni is going to have a huge effect on her. She will be meeting a lot of likeminded people and become more independent as a student. She will be moving on in her life whilst he will not unless he pulls his socks up and grow up too. His girlfriend is not going to want to keep him.

Good luck Esta, it is going to be hard but you can do it. Maybe husband needs to take some responsiblity too.

I have only just read this thread, sorry to jump in so late. Children can be unbelievably selfish. Our son earned good money. He was in his late 20's and he grudgingly gave me a cheque for £120 per month. I wished later I'd insisted he'd paid me weekly as he got a free month every year. He made me feel guilty for taking his money. When he moved in with his girlfriend I found out he gave her £100 a week! He's married now and we get on fine but I sometimes think I was a fool for all those years! Well, I know I was!

When I started work in 1970 I earned £6 a week. 10s 6d was deducted for NI and Mum asked for £1 10s (53p and£1.50 to the youngsters!). I was left with less than £4 a week. Even in 1970 that didn't buy very much. Mum even stopped buying toothpaste as I was the only one in the house with teeth!

Good luck Esta - children can walk all over you if you let them. Be strong.