General Chat

Actually what I stated was a fact, or are you saying that she did say unpleasant things? No of course you aren't because we and you know she didn't. And I am saying she would be mortified from the many many PMs and e mails I exchanged with BC in which she told me many times how she felt about things said by people about other people on the boards. Just because you have met her and some of us haven't doesn't make her any less our friend, any less mourned by us so please do not presume to tell us differently.

Yes Joy, you are so right I agree with you.

Well I am here but feeling very shell shocked

I did look in this morning and saw the replies were getting emotive so would have deleted the thread but blow me my internet went down

I gave up and went out as hubby was at his day centre so I take some time for myself and do the shopping etc

When I came back online I must admit I felt battered and really didn't expect to have what seemed to be hatred thrown around .

My original question was written with respect as it did seem in the past stickied threads stayed for a while then were unpinned , as the ones there at the moment had been for sometime I wondered whether genes no longer had a time scale and waited to be asked to unsticky

I didn't single out any particular thread it was a general enquiry and asking what others felt

I am not unfeeling to peoples grief , in fact our family has had two losses in the last 6 months of close family members .

I would have deleted this thread but as its been RR,d it not possible

No of course it doesnt ann,BC was a dear friend to many she met and those who she didnt meet, you didnt have to meet her to see the charismatic way she said or did things,


and this is why many are saddened by the suggestion, that Gr be mailed and requested to unpin her thread, it hurts no one being where it is, if Gr wanted to unpin it so be it, but for people to ask for it to be unpinned, it is disrespectful, to some of us it is anyways,

Im not attacking Shirley she asked what people thought iv told her, i feel like im going around in circles, like our opinion doesnt count, dont ask if you dont want a varied answer, or then there is no point asking, people feel strongly about it, and rightly so if we wish too, not everyones the same, bit doesnt mean were wrong,


ill leave it there, because there is no point,

Stray ...........


I am NOT trying to twist things


I am trying to understand what you mean when you say that we don't know BC, and can't say what she would do


we can say the impression that we got of BC from her posts and, yes, her pms that some of us received.


You tell us that we cannot know what BC would do or say ........................ yet we have the evidence of our own eyes of what she said and did through GR, but not in real life


You knew her both in the ether and in real life ......................


so are you saying she was different??


that what she said on here was not what she said in real life



Of course, you're not ....................


but you are trying to say that we others cannot possibly have known how she would react



My reading of her is that she would have been absolutely horrified at things that have been said on here, most especially the things that were said to and about Shirley .................. one of the sweetest women on here, in my opinion.



in fact, I think I could almost imagine what she might well have said!





Shirley had an opinion, and posted to ask what others thought about it.


Shirley did not een MENTION the thread about BC in the OP ................ nor mention any other names.

There are in fact 3 obituary threads that have been stickied for a lot longer than has been traditionally the case

someone assumed that it had to be BC's thread that was meant, and several of you went off half cocked at anyone who had dared to agree with Shirley's comment.

Shirley - your original post was put sympathetically and genuinely. It is others who have chosen to turn this into a battlefield but you can hold your head high because it was obviously a genuine request - and valid.

well said, eRRol




I wish I knew who had RR'd the OP .........

........... but regardless, it asked a valid question, especially in view of the fact that there were 3 obituary threads still stickied months after the original posting.

We really need GR to state publicly on what their policy is now a days, then everyone will know the state of play.

Without evidence to the contrary, it seems that GR ignore the boards unless there is an IT problem. You only have to recall that they had to be prompted last year to add a Poppy for Armistice Day.

I too had a lot of contact with BC by pm and feel sure she would not like this attack on Shirley and anyone who says something different to the opinions of Bc's closer friends. It is my opinion going by the way BC came across to me and I am entitled to voice it, so don't try to put me down and say I should not assume.

Shirley is a nice person, no if about it, and I am sad to see this lovely lady being jumped on and almost bullied to delete her thread.

This kind of thing is what started the decline of the chat board in my opinion, and it will be a sad day if the board goes completely. It has been a lifeline for many and without it we wouldn't be able to meet the people in the first place who sometimes become very dear to us.

Liz

Your post was sensitively put Shirley, you have nothing to reproach yourself for. I had said that you had more important things to worry about than constantly look on GR, so had probably not seen the replies.

Don't worry about it Shirley, you look after hubby, I hope he is doing o.k at the day centre, if you get the right centre, they are great places aren't they??

I was sad to see Hayley so distressed by this thread to :-( :-(

((hug)) for Hayley

memo to others
don't ask peoples opinions
if you don't want to hear the answers that's different from your own :-D :-D

There are answers (replies) and then there is out and out vitriole and bullying.

I may not have always seen eye to eye with Lynda but I agree with her totally.

Hayley was hurt she isn't a bully Sylvia
BC loved her like daughter the daughter she never had <3

Then is a public site the place to discuss it?

Joy


then I am sorry .................


but bullying is how it came over


and it was distasteful to read.

Perhaps GR would consider setting up a new board just for threads about departed members?

The full thread was distasteful for me
once it was known some where upset by it
it should of been taken down
long before Hayley got upset :-( :-(bless her

How on earth was it distasteful?

they could of just contacted GR
and asked for it to be removed quietly with out any fuss
and with out putting a thread up that was bound to upset some people

Or instead of upsetting poeple by quietly having it pulled behind people's backs they could be very open and ask people what they think.

C'mon this is getting ridiculous.