General Chat

My soon to be ex other half and I were discussing a tv programme we had been watching about Christian families in this century discussing their views on their beliefs. They said a girl belongs to father until she marries then she belongs to her husband. A woman's purpose is to cook, clean, take care of the home and raise as many children as possible. A woman has no life of her own outside the family and only leaves the home to do something with the children or the weekly shop. To which my other half says being absolutely serious I totally agree with all of that after all women are just temptresses there to hurt men. Um excuse me? Has anyone else experienced such an unusual view?

Not in this century, nor the last :-S

Now you know why i am twice divorced...lol :-D

what an arrogant pig

....and are children 'born of sin'?

I'd be inclined to call his bluff and challenge the "women are just temptresses there to hurt men" idea, by sleeping in another room,(thereby not using your 'hurtful temptressing' skills), and see who cracks first :-D :-D

Oh, and I'm not sure many of my 19th Century female ancestors were 'confined' to the house unless it was for a domestic reason.
The thing is, if they were ag labs, all hands were used, so females tended to go out in the fields with their families, and children.

:-D :-D :-D

That was not the state of affairs even in the C19.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Married_Women's_Property_Act_1882

When i married my first husband , after our 3 children were born i decided i would like a job, only to be told "You have a job .. looking after me and these children"

Well all i can say is there are plenty up here who agree wth ur OH Tawny including my own.

Dont want to say anything else on such a delicate matter, but ignore him and do what's right for you!!

Florence
in thehebrides :-) <3

I wasn't raised to believe that one choice was better than another. I was raised to believe that if I have children and am lucky enough not to have to work then obviously taking other halfs feelings into consideration as well as any children's. Ultimately the choice is mine wether I choose to go out to work or stay at home and not dictated by my other half simply because he believes I should be tied to the home.

You can't blame a man for thinking you are his slave when the vast majority of women agree without a second thought to being known as 'Mrs His Name' from day one of the marriage.

My OH has her own family name - she cannot even pronounce mine!
In France the trend is to double barrel both names but if the kids do that too then you would have a quad barrel and so and on just like some Scandinavian saga.

My own point of view is that if a man marries a woman mainly as a housekeeper and somebody to bear kids while he plays golf has a very warped way of seeing things. OTOH a women who sees being a housewife as a job entitling her to a lifetime income is also way off track.

Men who won't do housework / cook / child care or pay somebody to do it are dishonest acting in such a way is pure thievery. Those who do it occasionally say when OH is ill or on birthdays and then make a big deal about it are even worse as they are hypocrites too.

Men who marry for their OH money are a form of low life with no pride at all. The French term is le maquereau.

Marriage is essentially an impossible proposition without some sort of threat to back it up. That only a half of married people divorce is remarkable or possibly an indication of just how much misery the human soul can endure.

Well my OH thinks he is the Boss Hmm x but I start a job & he will say .let me finish that ,so me boss he slave :-D its worked for nearly 49 years . ;-)

if a man tried to treat me like that
I would say
the days of men controlling a woman is well over

as I picked up my coat and left :-D :-D

The opening post was the sort of thing my Ex would say. You didn't marry him after I walked out on him did you Tawny :-0. He was an arrogant nasty, vicious controlling brute to boot . :-P :-P :-P :-P. New hubby the complete opposite I am glad to say

I enjoyed not going out to work when my children were small - but as we lived in the middle of nowhere, and I don't drive, working was a bit difficult! I also breastfed my children, which saved money!!
I spent my days nurturing the baby growing veg, dealing with the ducks (both veg and ducks were food) and, if any decorating needed doing - I'd do it!
Ex realised he couldn't put up wallpaper and got bored painting, so, at weekends he used to look after the children and cook meals while I did the fiddly decorating (that I couldn't do with the children around) :-D
I also did any electricals and other DIY jobs - like put up shelves.
He cut the hedges, as he liked them very precise.
Car maintenance - we both did it. We'd change the gearbox one year and the engine the next, of our old Morris. I used to clean the gasket as well.
He cleaned the oven.
Pretty much a partnership, each doing what they were best at/disliked least.

My ex son in law once said to me a womans place is behind the kitchen sink and my mother had five of us and your daughter is going to have five children, she had three, one night I was waiting for a bus who should walking towards me holding hands with this young girl but son in law daughter saw sence and got rid

My missis didn't need to work, but she did, when she needed to......in fact her early wages helped buy our first car........I preferred her to look after the children, and the home...........fortunately I earned enough money for her NOT to have to work, outside of the home.......we must have been doing something right, for 55 years........

Bob

that would have been my father's attitude

My mother got a job when my youngest brother started High School. Dad waited for a few months, then told Mum "I've worked out how much you earn, so I've deducted it from your ( !! ) housekeeping".

Mum finally saw the light and left him a couple of years later. Dad died a miserable, lonely old man....... he had nothing to do with his children, or his sister...... his choice, not ours.

I'd have gone crazy without a career. My brain began to turn to mush after 8 months not working, so I taught adults at night school until our son started school then I went back to work, part time at first.

It costs a fortune to educate our children, what a waste of a valuable resource if half of them are treated like latter day skivvies and confined to the kitchen.

I dislike housework so I pay someone else to do it. She's a neat freak and loves it and the money she earns helps provide for her children because her ex sure as hell doesn't.