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CORONATION STREET - THE REAL STORY

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

LancsLass

LancsLass Report 5 Apr 2008 10:13

any passing tourist who happen to wander around the street looking in peoples windows like its some type of film set! The good people of the street are frankly a bit annoyed about this. Do these people not know Coronation Street is a real place????

Anyway, Norris grabbed one of the passers by and said

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 5 Apr 2008 10:16

you probably know me, I'm rather famous!! Please can you call an ambulance - have a feeling I've broken something - meanwhile the Kabin was beginning to smoulder but Norris had forgotten all about the chip pan and Rita and Emily were already in the charity shops looking for new gear. The ambulance came and

JustJean

JustJean Report 5 Apr 2008 11:45


Off wen Norris to hospital, meanwhile the kabin was now well and truly alight, soon the police arrived
and decided it was the work of the same one who fired the restaurant, they

LancsLass

LancsLass Report 5 Apr 2008 11:50

went straight to the bookies and arrested the young guy who can't act very well. Leanne had given them a tip off, she had decided over night that Paul was the one for her after all, after she had seen him in his vest and pants!

Paul was stood in the street mouth wide open

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 5 Apr 2008 11:54

what on earth was going on here? First the bistro and now the Kabin - did Leanne do that? He shut his mouth, which was good for all concerned, cos nothing much comes out of it anyway, and went to see Janice "Big Gob" Battersby to see if she knew what was going on. Janice was with her boring fella who didn't seem bothered much that

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 5 Apr 2008 12:21

that Janice was downing more beer and munching her way through yet another kebab!!! Norris meanwhile was at the hospital where it transpired he had broken his ankle and was looking for names of solicitors so he could sue the builders. All plastered up and with a pair of crutches he limped out of Weatherfield General, which was half empty since Martin Platt had left. He hailed a passing taxi and was soon back at the Kabin - well what was left of it shall we say. He was moritifed realising he was the cause of the fire and fell to the floor breaking his arm this time. People kept stepping over him to get a good look at the firemen in action when all of a sudden

JustJean

JustJean Report 5 Apr 2008 16:20


Emily and Rita came round the corner, what the h**l
is going on screamed Rita before falling in a dead faint at kens feet, it was bedlam as everyone ran to their homes to check the

Haribo

Haribo Report 5 Apr 2008 21:05

windows were still intact now that there was a rampaging demonic David on the loose! Poor David cried into his coke after being dumped by his girlfriend of two months who had abruptly changed from Tough Tina to Timid Tina....with a conshance (sp)

LancsLass

LancsLass Report 6 Apr 2008 00:45

"oh my giddy aunts" cried Rita, "what has the place come to. The street has never been like this, what with cowboy builders, teenage tearaways, fires, loud women eating kebabs, its just like an episode from a TV soap. I don't think i will ever recover from this trauma."

Ken picked Rita up from his feet and calmly said

Valerie

Valerie Report 6 Apr 2008 10:52

"Come on Rita, I'll take you back to my place and make you a nice hot cup of tea with plenty of sugar, that'll help you get over the shock."

Valerie

Valerie Report 6 Apr 2008 11:05

Just as they reached the front door, a pair of knickers were carried along the path by the wind, yes these were literally flying out of the factory, or off someones clothes line! "I wonder who they belong to, they look too small to be Janices, too bad they've forecast snow for tomorrow" said Rita with a laugh!

JustJean

JustJean Report 6 Apr 2008 11:08

always knew that Ken had a soft spot for Rita,I will have to keep my eye on him said Blanche, things started to calm down a bit but there was still a uneasy feeling in the air,Marie who is with child and her hormones are all over the place suddenly

ChrisofWessex

ChrisofWessex Report 6 Apr 2008 12:39

one of those small tornados hit Coronation Street - think this was the first one to hit the north and caused devastation - but the worst damage was to the new build - it came tumbling down - says a lot for the builders they employed (half did not understand english) perhaps the mortar mix was wrong - however

Sally Moonchild

Sally Moonchild Report 6 Apr 2008 12:47

.......when they lifted the rubble, there was Fiz, and Rosie too.......and both were without their underpanty thingies.......now a pair had been found......obviously whirled about the Street by the unexpected Tornado.......now who gets the knickies......its a bit like Cinderella and her slipper.....

JustJean

JustJean Report 6 Apr 2008 20:02


Bags I do the trying on said perv Dev, not on your life shouted Amber,all my school mates are watching, now one person hadnt said much while all this was going on, but now she spoke out "you ought to be ashamed of yourselves, we have neve never been like this before," everyone stopped and

ChrisofWessex

ChrisofWessex Report 6 Apr 2008 22:15

looked at Emily - Liz said I agree whilst

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 6 Apr 2008 23:44

tugging at her rather short skirt to cover the fact that she was without underwear!!! Too late though, Emily had caught a glimpse of a tattoo on Liz's left buttock and clutching at her cross and chain she swooned in a dead faint - now it seems that people were passing out all over the place and no Martin Platt on hand to render first aid!!!! Liz dashed in the Rovers and asked for assistance - Vernon said

Valerie

Valerie Report 8 Apr 2008 04:18

'Just give us a minute to clear away these ashtrays and I'll be with ya"."You fool", replied Liz,"Not me! It's poor Emily, she's fainted".
"Oh right, where are the smelling salts" answered Vernon.
Liz was amazed at his slow response, after all, he had just joined St Johns as it was a requirement for Health and Safety in the workplace, he should have had

JustJean

JustJean Report 8 Apr 2008 07:24


remembered the drill,but as we all now if he cant play it he hasnt a clue, when all the fuss had died down,Sean and his pal went over to the kebab place and was just about to order when Alex tried to push in front of them," back off wait your turn,"kev said and pushed him away,

ChrisofWessex

ChrisofWessex Report 8 Apr 2008 12:22

Alex threatened that he would get his mum to bar them from the pub - when pointed out that his mother had no authority - Alex said - 'well she sleeps with the owner' and that statement led to