General Chat

put a plaster on her finger and a big plaster on Vernon's mouth and told him

to get down the cellar and sort out the mixers. Steve came in with Michelle - she was still looking downcast with over made up eyes and calling Ryaaaaaaan all over the place. Liz had had enough of this and joined Vernon down the cellar. Violet was the only one serving by now and suddenly started to feel

twinges - was the spawn of Sean's loins about to make an appearance or had one of Betty's hotpots

given her gut act. By chance Roy had a remedy to cure the cramps, but it not only cured those, Violet started to burp continuously. Roy couldn't believe the reaction Violet was having. Norris was act the bar and grabbed the container the remedy was in, and read the label. The label said to feed only to dogs twice a day for a shiny coat. So an ambulance was called for Violet and when it arrived the Paramedic said.............

should really be taking you to a vet I think but on the other hand maybe

you would be better at home with a fish paste sarnie and a nice hot drink but if you dont fancy that you could always have

a warm bath, drink of hot chocolate and a cuddle with

the woeful Maria. You could then tell her about the fizzing, sexual tension that you have witnessed from behind the bar between the botoxed one and lame Liam

Violet thought this was such a good idea - she had always been interested in the fact that Carla's face always looked like a kind of mask and her hair never moved - was she a real person or just a wax figure - did she ever smile - she needed answers to these searching questions and thought that Maria was the one

.....Maria then had an idea, why not take a course in 'how to botox impossible cases' and add this to her C.V......one day Carla might become a client...

of Tony's and not his fancy piece. Both Liam and Carla are both staring into Tony's stray right eye ball, waiting for it to pop out. The more angry Tony gets the more the eyeball pops out. Liam is also making sure that his hotpot is nowhere in the vicinity of Tony's eyeball as it may land in it. The pub Rovers regulars are running a book for how long his eye stays in. But Carla gets fed up of staring at Tony and decides to ..........

.....find out if Tony is really the long lost son of Marty Feldman....

or Spike Milligan or even

the Bull-Frog from Weatherfield Canal!!

......Tony looked on Carla with suspicion,......I have my eye on you, he said.....

and with that remark one of his eyes fell out on to her knee - she screamed blue murder and was hysterical, Blanche slapped her face with real gusto and threw the eye into Carla's glass of wine - 'silly cat' said Blanche - 'it is a glass one'. With that Carla

threw it in the recycling bin along with her weekly stash of wine bottles

but a week later found it winking at

Eileen as she threw out the chip papers and by mistake a pair of

waifs and strays that had out stayed their welcome